Before we get into the book reviews, have you noticed how much weight Trump has put on? You can see it in his cheeks and his waistline. Stress can make you eat more of that KFC, burgers and fries. No doubt he has plenty to be stressed about, eh? Manafort, Cohen, the Kavanaugh appointment and when will the indictments drop. Not to mention what 2019 will be like with the Democrats in charge of the House and now maybe the Senate too–especially with the way the Republicans are now and will be treating Christine Blasey Ford.
An amazing book that reads very quickly and easily as a novel does. Except, there is little fiction here–except perhaps in the beliefs of Donald Trump and people like John Dowd. As I finished, I found photos, footnotes, source material by chapter and an index that added another 25% or so to the page count. So, no fiction on Woodward’s part.
As for Trump, consider the old adage, “Don’t confuse me with the facts, I already have my mind made up.” In Trump’s case, he is never confused with facts–he has his own and rejects all others. Here’s a shortened quote from page 138.
“Mr. President, can I show this to you?” Cohn fanned out the pages of data in front of the president. “See, the biggest leavers of jobs—people leaving voluntarily—was from manufacturing.”
. . . .
Trump wasn’t buying it.
. . . .
Several times Cohn just asked the president, “Why do you have these views?”
“I just do,” Trump replied. “I’ve had these views for 30 years.”
Of course, the problem of opinions no based on fact is well known about Trump and illustrated often within the book. I won’t spoil the fun of reading more of them.
You’ve undoubtedly seen many interviews or excerpts about the book. You’ve also read or heard about the many faults of Trump and the way his White House operates. Woodward offers chapter and verse on most of them, such as these (and many more):
—The chaos and the predatory relationship among staffers
—Trump’s short attention span, unwillingness to read more than a few paragraphs
—His laziness, coming to work at 10:30 or 11:00 and not knowing what’s on his agenda for the day despite a briefing book provided the night before.
The book also details all the legal battles, the effect of the Mueller investigation on Trump and much more. Like information that hasn’t been detailed in the news. For example, the alliances of some staff members with others. Woodward also confirms stories like those in that anonymous Op Ed, about how some people kept stuff from Trump to protect the country.
My only disappointment is that the book had, by the necessities of editing and printing, stopped in March. But then the news has covered so much more that’s happened since. While Woodward has has provided details confirming many things already knew, he goes further in fleshing them out and giving us new stuff. Fear is a good title in many ways.
By the time I finished reading this, I already knew virtually everything that the book contained. That said, the work that went into this is impressing. Not only that, but it came out before all the content was widely known. It remains a great resource for those doing their own research and potentially using the information for blog posts and the like.
What we need is a latter-day Dali to paint Trump in his alternate universe. A picture, after all, is worth a thousand words. The surrealist image of Comrade Trump could suffice.
He has gone more bonkers than ever before after the Helsinki debacle and resulting backlash. Forget the deplorables meme, it’s only ignorables that continue to deny Trump is Putin’s Puppet after his sycophancy in Finland.
What did he and his boss agree to? No one knows–probably not Trump himself. Only his gut, perhaps–which is easily confused, overfilled as it is with burgers, fries and KFC washed down with multiple diet sodas.
Did Putin decline that September White House visit? Or did Trump really listen to Ryan and McConnell–who likely told him they’d like not to have this lead-in to the midterms.
“Bonkers” Bolton says the event is off until after the Mueller “Witch Hunt” is over. Pence probably won’t want to entertain Putin, do you think?
Putin said he DID favor Trump in the 2016 election and he DID direct staff to help that happen. With all the indictments of Russians corroborating that–the Witch Hunt epithet gets crazier every time a Trump or his flunkies say it.
After introducing the bill to impeach Rod Rosenstein, Jim Jordan says he wants to run for Speaker of the House. That hardly seems a likely outcome–unless they have one in the Duma. Especially if Putin is directing his people to work to get Democrats elected in the midterm. Wow–no more reality TV shows; Trump should shoot for a late night comedy gig after he’s thrown out of office.
Meanwhile, what should we call the “Freedom Caucus”? The Commie Caucus? The Russo-Publican Caucus? The Emperor Trump Caucus? Jordan will just have to wrestle with that–perhaps in the House locker room, eh?
A little bit late, Ivanka is folding her fashion tent so she can focus on her work in the White House. Seriously–ROFLLLLLLLLLL.
Melania says, through her spokesperson, she will watch whatever channel she wants (after hubby complained about her watching CNN on Air Force One).
Edvard Munch’s The Scream might capture the agony of parent’s and children separated by Trump’s “Zero Tolerance Policy”–which would be better termed a “Zero Humanity Policy.”
More fun next week, as Manafort’s first trial starts. Maybe more Michael Cohen tapes too. Could he have a copy of that Moscow hotel room tape? Only Putin knows for sure–and he’s not talking until Trump starts misbehaving.
On Saturday, June 30th, I attended my first rally in many years. Silver City turned out maybe 250 people–it is a smaller town. Named for the silver mined here a hundred years ago, it could now as easily refer to the hair color of many residents. Like me, most of the attendees were in their sixties and seventies years of age.
We weren’t reliving the era of the sixties and seventies, when we protested against the Vietnam War and celebrated with a strong sense of schadenfreude, Nixon’s resignation concluding Watergate. Most of us on Saturday, were reinventing those earlier days in a new era. The era of the first American President elected by Russia. Well, OK, he wasn’t literally voted in by Russia–but without their help he likely wouldn’t be in office today.
Yes, as Hillary claimed in a pre-election debate, Trump IS a puppet. Just look at the way he genuflects before Putin–castigating American allies, subverting the G-7, the EU, NATO, etc.
Soon, Trump will attend a NATO conference, during which he will more than likely insult America’s allies even more than he did at the G-7 meeting. Allies whose products he is placing tariffs and other trade barriers on that will cost American jobs, cost American farmers and other producers lots of lost sales and American consumers more money for all sorts of goods. But hey, a trade war is simple and easily won (WRONG!)
The Senate Intelligence Committee confirmed unanimously that the US intelligence community’s conclusions. Russia “meddled” in America’s 2016 presidential election in hopes of electing Donald Trump. Such a limp word, meddled, that hardly conveys the depth of Russian’s intervention and attack America’s democratic process.
Trump still fears to fully accept this fact publicly–“mustn’t anger Putin,” he thinks to himself.
How many Russian oligarchs, government officials, celebrities, etc., attended Trump’s inaugural events to celebrate our so-called President? Orders of magnitude more than in any other inaugural. Doesn’t that confirm his status as Russia’s puppet–an American President elected by Putin himself?
Following the NATO conference, Trump will meet in Helsinki with Vladimir Putin. Reports are that some of the face time will include one-on-one discussions with only the two “leaders” and their translators (at least this time Trump is supposed to have an American translator–unlike that other meeting). What do you suppose they will discuss? Here’s my guess:
Coordination of which candidates in the 2018 midterms that Trump wants Putin to slam via social media bots, etc., and which ones he wants Putin to support
Coordination on ruckuses to raise in advance of the midterms–immigration, racial animosity, attempts to split the various wings of the Democratic party
Possibly which Supreme Court nominee Putin would prefer–despite the fact that the meeting is on the 16th and Trump says he will announce his own choice on the 9th (watch for a change in that announcement)
It’s hard to imagine this America is the one the founding fathers created so many years ago. We revolted against a king and now there are those who appear sanguine in Trump’s escalation to a throne and are happy to hold a sycophant’s court to assist him.
The people at the rally I attended, like many of those in the modern era of resistance against the would-be-king, were discussing the pragmatic efforts they will be taking, like calling, visiting, and otherwise connecting with their elected officials. Marching in the street is NOT the sum total of their resistance. They will also be working for candidates that won’t be doormats for Trump. If you live in a America, consider whether fireworks and festivities should be the sum total of our celebration of independence. If it is, the days of democracy are numbered.
Here’s my take on making Trump’s campaign slogan a success:
The “Witch Hunt” is getting too close for comfort. Will investigators find the remodeled and expanded broom closet?
Will the true name of the Coven Caucus (publicly known as the Freedom Caucus) be revealed?
What of the Politburo Caucus?
Given Trump’s spelling challenges, did he confuse a Nobel Peace Prize with a Piece Prize?
What about those 49 questions that nonsecular Sekulow came up with from the meeting with Mueller’s team? How about this paraphrase of a popular Stephen Stills song:
Forty-nine answers, all in a row
All of them fake ones, all of them lies
OK, enough funny business, let’s get serious with some synopses of the whole Trump miasma (the short version). Bullet points with indents, based on early campaign analyses up through the present and on to the future predictions of potential outcomes.
Trump never expected (or really wanted) to be President
He expected to make money up the wazoo from the enhanced visibility
He especially wanted to expand business in Russia
He hoped for a new TV gig too
When he unexpectedly won, he didn’t know WTF to do or who to hire or appoint to positions he knew nothing about–so America wound up with idiots, incompetents, criminals and all of the above
Putin (Russia) really wanted to disrupt the American democratic polity
Putin hated Hillary and really wanted to harm her–whether she got elected or not
Putin pegged Trump as a useful idiot for Putin’s plans
Once Trump got the nomination, Putin got serious and offered help through social media, the Wikileaks releases, etc.
Trump, his family and friends eagerly accepted (if not actively sought out) the help Putin could offer
“Back-channels” via Kushner, Erik Prince, et al
Roger Stone and Assange, etc.
Meetings, meetings and more meetings
Mueller’s team leaks nothing but the White House and the Congress leaks continually. As Fox Mulder would say, “the truth is out there”
The truth, as evidenced by the leaks, is that the Trump campaign and later the administration, regularly conspire(d) with Russian actors to affect the election and to cover it up
The truth is that countless Trump family members and associates are guilty of acts that might border on treason
Formerly “rule of law,” “law and order,” and pro law enforcement “Republic Party” (see Democrat party epithet) members are now sycophantically attacked the FBI, Justice Department, et al on behalf of Trump. So much so that some could be called Russo-Publicans–or perhaps the Politburo Caucus
Should Rod Rosenstein be impeached for not revealing internal investigative files to the GOP? No!
Assuming Devin Nunes, Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows, et al survive the midterms, THEY should all be impeached in 2019 and indicted for leaking classified documents, obstruction of justice and more.
So what will the political landscape look like this time in 2019? Who will be indicted, convicted or impeached?
Let’s assume the Mueller probe and report are completed
Let’s assume the Democrats win a large majority in the House
Let’s assume the Democrats hold their own in the Senate
Then this may happen:
Trump will be impeached
Trump may be indicted
Many other members of the Trump campaign team and/or administration members will be indicted
Eventually, RICO charges will be filed against the Trump Organization–with the bulk of its assets seized by the US Government and the entity dissolved (this will take several years at a minimum)
Trump may suffer a debilitating nervous breakdown and/or medical incident such as a stroke or cardiac event causing him to leave office in advance of an impeachment trial in the Senate
Mike Pence will assume the Presidency and will either pardon Trump or not
If he pardon’s Trump, he will be soundly defeated in 2020, if he runs
If he doesn’t pardon Trump, he will be primaried by the GOP base and will either lose or be so damaged in the process that a Democrat will win in 2020
Manafort, Stone, Kushner, Cohen and others will be among the convicted. At least three of them will flip on Trump–all of which will ensure a bad outcome for the Fake President.
Fireworks. A day at the beach or another family get together. Beer, hotdogs or burgers. Time to relax and celebrate America’s freedom. But there’s a pall over the festivities this year. At least for the majority of Americans who disapprove and worry about the man who would be king Tiberius Trump, rather than president.
Is our independence secure? One can’t be certain, perhaps even doubtful with the so-called president currently occupying the oval office. There have been good presidents and bad presidents. But never one so oddly out-of-place and so dangerously unqualified. You know his faults, let’s not list them again. Let’s just consider a couple of events, one historical, one fictional which could threaten the survival of America as we know it. Then we’ll consider the current reality we’re facing–the scariest thing of all.
Were Trump alive during the American Revolution, would he have sided with King George against the Continental Congress? “A fine fellow,” Trump might say. One that instead of considering an enemy, he would prefer to establish a better relationship with. Much like Vladimir Putin.
What would Trump do if he were facing the aliens that threatened not just America but world annihilation in the movie Independence Day? Would he tweet, “FAKE news!” Or perhaps he’d claim it a plot by the Democrats, especially Hillary Clinton, to threaten his presidency. Most likely, he’d cower in the sub-basement of the White House or retreat to the bunker at Mount Weather. There he might call BFF Putin and implore him for advice. After all, Trump doesn’t trust any of his senior advisers—especially the intelligence agency heads nor the military.
What might Putin say to him? If I were as rude as Stephen Colbert, I might suggest that Putin would tell him, (assuming there were a video teleconference transmission):
“Get off your knees, Donald! This isn’t a stall in a Kremlin men’s room!”
But that would be crude, wouldn’t it. But I don’t have to worry about FCC complaints or sponsors objecting. I’m just a blogger who, while not seriously suggesting Trump’s sexual misadventures might include glory holes, doesn’t reject them out of hand as a possibility either.
So what then of America’s independence? it’s well established that Russian agents, at the direction of Putin, meddled in America’s 2016 election. “Meddle,” of course, is a singularly understated word for what went on. They hacked into DNC servers and published stolen messages via WikiLeaks. They used bots and trolls to publish fake news disparaging the Clinton campaign. They hacked into voter registration records of at least 21 states (and possibly 39). So what is Trump’s response? Denials that it even happened. It’s all a hoax—especially that anyone associated with his campaign had anything to do with making this happen. Other than that, nothing—except for his voter fraud commission. NOTE: as of July 4th, 44 of 50 states have resisted the commission’s request for much of the information requested.
The commission was created in part to prove his ridiculous claim of millions of illegal votes that cost him the popular vote.It also would offer better tools for suppressing undesirable votes from minorities and Democrats.Moreover, his administration offers no assistance or warnings to the election officials across America on how to harden their record keeping systems against intrusion in the upcoming 2018 election. We’ll return to that in just a bit.
On Friday, July 7th, Trump will meet with Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit. What will they talk about? Syria? Iran? Or maybe lifting or at least lightening the sanctions imposed by former President Obama on Russia? Will there be an opportunity for them to meet alone (Trump is unlikely to speak Russian, but Putin does have some fluency in English!) Trump has dissed a substantial percentage of American allies. He has dissed American war heroes. He calls American media his enemy. But he has never ONCE said anything bad about Putin. He has also lavished praise on strong men throughout the world.
Trump, as we all know, wishes he were unencumbered by limitations on his power by the other two branches of government—Congress and the judiciary. He could also do without media scrutiny. He has had some success at curtailing the media; not so much the other branches of government. But what if he could get an even more compliant Congress? That’s where Putin, the voter fraud commission and the disinterest in protecting against Russian hacking of voter records—perhaps even voting machines themselves.
Could Trump be the reincarnation of Benedict Arnold? Angered at what he perceived to be a lack of recognition and rewards (lack of promotions, etc.) Arnold conspired with the British during the Revolutionary War and gave his name as a simple synonym for traitor. Trump is particularly incensed at the opposition of the media and the lack of recognition of what he sees as his own virtues and successes (few and far between, and as minimal, as they are). So, will Trump succumb to flattery by Putin to make Russia Great Again? Perhaps he already has. Perhaps he has been corrupted financially or otherwise to do Putin’s bidding. One could easily assume so, given Trump’s behavior toward Putin and Russia. So, decades from now, we could be talking of Traitor Trump and Benedict Arnold might be a forgotten figure of history.
Let’s hope not.Now is the time for America to celebrate its independence—and resist surrendering it to Donald Trump and inferentially, Russia. Here’s what Eugene Robinson, Pulitzer Prize winning reporter had to say yesterday in Our #FakeHero president is an insult to our Founders .
The role of the citizenry — to express approval or disapproval at the ballot box — includes making sure that suffrage is not selectively and unfairly denied by restrictive voter-ID laws or partisan purges of the voter rolls.
Congress must assert its powers of oversight. . . Trump has deepened the swamp, not drained it; and Congress has a duty to sort through the muck.
Congress must also let Trump know, in no uncertain terms, . . . that firing Mueller would automatically be considered grounds for impeachment.
The Fourth of July is no day for despair. It’s a day to remember that our system, though vulnerable to a charlatan such as Trump, is robust and resilient. Eventually he will be tossed or voted out. And the star-spangled banner yet will wave.
So Donald Jr. says he’s not interested in running for office in 2018. Really? Despite the unlikely win his father had in 2016, he’s clearly more delusional than dear old dad if he thinks there’s a groundswell of voters anxious to see him in the New York Governor’s office (he’s not inclined toward the NYC Mayor job. Hahahahahaha!!!! Bozo runs in the family, it seems.
Is the dog fully wagged yet? Haven’t heard much about the investigation of the Trump campaign collusion with the Russian meddling in the US election in the last several days. Seems like the symbolic Syrian attack has done the trick. Speaking of tricks, here’s the deal with that:
Russia got a one-hour warning of the impending strike
That gave not only them, but the Syrians, ample time to move valuable jets and personnel away from the strikes
The Trump administration can’t get straight whether it was 20 aircraft, 20% of the aircraft in the area, 20% of the entire air force or something else that was destroyed
Most likely, it was 20 aging aircraft that were hit
No chemical weapon storage was hit
No reports of ANY Russian or Syrian casualties have emerged
In simple terms, the 59 Tomahawk missile strike was not highly successful militarily–or not a BFD
But it did cost the taxpayers, depending on what source you read, $75 to $90 million!
Oh, and the really funny thing–sources say that it was daughter Ivanka’s dismay at the videos of suffering children who brought it all to Daddy Donald’s attention–causing him to call for a response. Oh sure–or, wait, maybe that did play a part.
There you have it, the high cost of deflection. Great praise from hawks. Derision from pacifists and alt-right nationalists. And plenty of discussion suggesting it signified a departure from Trump/Russian convergence. Noteworthy: while Trump surrogates and administration officials have badmouthed the Russians,not one word against Russia has come from Donald himself. Got the clue?
Oh, did you hear about the uber spammer arrested in Spain at the FBI request? The US has an extradition treaty with Spain. The guy’s wife says it’s all about his work for Putin on the Trump campaign. Spammers can make as much as they want in Russia, so long as they do the work that the FSB, Putin, et al asks them to. Guess he’ll be spilling the beans for the right deal to the new special unit of the FBI created for investigating the Trump/Russian connection. (The unit will be headed by an experience counter-intelligence agent and will have as many as 20 people working out of the FBI HQ in Washington, DC). Pay no attention to the Syrian deflection. The investigation continues and the evidence is accumulating.
Sean Sriracha says even Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons on his own people. Oh yeah, he just gassed millions of them with Zyklon gas in the concentration camps–that doesn’t count. Maybe the Trump team can hire Clarissa to explain it all to Sean so he doesn’t sound so cluelessly stupid when he does briefings.
Trump says Bill O’Really has done nothing wrong. 82 sponsors and counting think otherwise, costing Fox over an estimated $35 million in ad revenue. But hey, what’s a little sexual harassment in the workplace–or anywhere where a celebrity can grab a woman by the p. . .y?
Speaking of which, let’s lighten this up with a tune by that name from a man who never hesitated to include plenty of sexual commentary in his songs but still is a favorite of many–including myself. Humor excuses many such sins. But have no fear, Zappa’s Sexual Harassment in the Workplace has no lyrics–it’s 100% instrumental. For all you fellow guys, hear the pain and sorrow of harassment in the melody even as you listen to the guitar virtuoso.
Uh, that’s golf–not the ones he bragged about on the Access Hollywood tape. On the course nine times (every weekend) in seven weeks since the inaugural, Trump is on schedule to be getting in 267 rounds over a four-year term. Obama, who Trump complained of wasting too much time golfing, managed 333—over two four-year terms. Of course it’s unlikely Trump will make it through a full-term. He’ll be impeached or otherwise removed from office long before then.
Known as a pathological liar, it shouldn’t be surprising that his word on a handshake isn’t worth much either. He fired Preet Bharara today, while on a golf course in Virginia, after asking him to stay on as US Attorney for the Southern District of New York. It also illustrates his lack of supposed business acumen (a farcical claim at best). Ask 46 US attorneys to resign–before even nominating, let alone confirming a single replacement. What happens to cases in progress? Ah, who cares. Same goes for the US State Department where most of the senior officials were let go–taking decades of institutional knowledge with them, without any replacements to step in.
So it’s clear enough that while Trump and his White House Wackos are concerned about the “Deep State,” where they’re taking the US is into Deep Sh-t. What comes from Trump’s White House is a shallow sewer of “alt-right” slime. It’s diseased water is filled with floating feces that have names–like Bannon, Gorka, Stephen Miller. They and their boss, the Golfer-in-Chief, revel in irrational and implausible conspiracy theories while spewing hate in all directions.What comes from Trump's White House is a shallow sewer of alt-right slime Click To Tweet
How much meddling is Russia still exerting? What decisions and actions by Trump come at the behest of Vladimir Putin? Flynn lied. Sessions lied. Pence lied–when he said he’d never heard of Flynn working as an agent for Turkey despite receiving communications about personally addressed to him as head of the transition team. Each and every surrogate or spokesperson for Trump offers preposterous lies on a daily basis to the media. How many were in communication or actually met with the Russians and/or WikiLeaks and lied about it?
Why did Russian Oligarch Dmitry Rybolovlev buy a Palm Beach mansion for $95 million in 2008, which Trump had purchased for $41 million? Trump made no improvements and never lived there. The mansion apparently has since been torn down. Why did Rybolovlev’s plane land at the same airport in tiny Concord, NC, where Trump had a rally? Why did it follow to Charlotte, NC. Why was it in Las Vegas at the same time as Trump’s plane? All of these “coincidences” were in 2017. See the story at McClatchy. Perhaps the money was a loan or a bribe from Putin? Perhaps the travel itineraries were for in-person information exchanges (whether with aides or the principals directly) that couldn’t be traced.
Political connections, business connections and much more between the Trump empire and Russia. See US Congressman Eric Swalwell’s chart of the connections on this page. Watch Rachel Maddow for regular updates on the mushrooming data showing how much has happened and consider what might still be happening–especially considering the hollowing out of the State Department, Putin’s buddy Rex Tillerson’s silence and shut-out of the media so far as Secretary of State. Most of all, consider Emperor Trump’s total avoidance of any commentary on the WikiLeaks dump of CIA tools. Perhaps he simply doesn’t care. Perhaps Roger Stone told him it was coming. Perhaps he’d like to see the US intelligence agencies fail.
Is it America First or Russia First? Will Trump be the first US president tried for treason? Will Pence pardon him like Gerald Ford did Nixon? Pence might get away with a pardon for violation of the emoluments clause or other financial misdeeds. No need for a pardon if Trump has a complete mental breakdown and must be removed from office.
Why are Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell in such a rush to get the repeal and replacement (AKA, “repeal and wreck”) of the Affordable Care Act done? Could it be they fear how soon that Congress will be consumed with removing Trump from office and potentially staving off Putin’s takeover? It seems clear to me that this is the only rational reason for haste. Once the investigations get into full swing, Congress will have little time for any other productive work.
Some say we Americans should support the peaceful transition to a new President. Sure, no violence. Antipathy yes. Respect? No–for the office but not for the man. We can’t say for sure how much Russia helped get him elected. We can’t say for sure how much contact and collusion may have existed between Putin and Trump’s team. Based on Trump’s comments and behavior, it’s reasonable to think there was quite a bit. I have every reason to believe he will rank in the top five of the worst Presidents America has ever had. He’s the most manifestly unqualified. He’s dangerously ignorant with no desire to become informed, assuming he could.
It’s easy to do as I do here, mock and ridicule Trump with the same sort of fake news that helped propel him to the White House. While he relished, tweeted and retweeted all of the fake news that came out regarding Clinton, he now calls fake any derogatory information about him, his transition team or cabinet appointments. So I’ll persist in offering fake news. Why do it? It’s to keep the spirits up of the large majority of Americans and people around the worlddismayed at Trump’s ascension to what he no doubt thinks of as a throne.
But isn’t there something more positive that can be done?Yes, there is.That means those who fear Trump or despise him for all that he says and does must reach out and talk with those who voted for him about matters of mutual concern. It does no good to simply cut ties with friends, neighbors and family members that voted for Trump. Rather, we have to listen to them about why they did what we consider totally irrational–voting for Trump. Some may be gullible. Some may be racist. Some may even have legitimate concerns that they felt weren’t being met by Hillary Clinton in particular or Democrats in general. It’s clearly pointless to expect Trump to unite America. That’s up to the rest of us.
Have a few laughs in the meantime, with the fake news here. Keep resisting. Keep whistleblowing. Keep peppering your Congressman or Senator with objections to cabinet picks or legislative proposals that will affect you if you’re American. March in protest, recognizing that such activity won’t directly affect Trump but besides making you feel good it will confirm polls that show Trump will enter the White House with the lowest approval rating of any President in the last 40 years.
Nothing below is presented as or claimed to be true (with minor exceptions noted)–although some of it could be. It is FAKE News. It’s satire.
Kellyanne Corncob said Trump’s words don’t matter in an interview on CNN a few days ago. Never mind what’s come out of his mouth, “look at what’s in his heart.” Using the most advanced technology available, select news outlets have scanned Trump’s chest from a distance. It appeared that, like the Tin Man, he had none. Upon closer examination, they determined that it was there, although shriveled up like a prune past its prime. Trump’s surrogates often complain that news media are taking him literally. So in this case, he’s not literally heartless—just compassionately challenged. See for yourself in this side-by-side comparison of a normal heart and Trump’s heart.
On behalf of Benedict Trump, National Security Adviser Michael “RT” Flynn, called the Russian Ambassador five times on December 29th.Hereportedly said, according to a leak of an NSA intercept authorized by a FISA warrant,
“Don’t worry about Obama’s sanctions and those diplomats expelled. Once Trump’s in the White House we’ll roll them back and you can bring back as many spies—I mean diplomats—as you want.”
“Thank you, Comrade Flynn,” the ambassador replied.
This is satire. All “news” on THIS post is FAKE unless indicated otherwise. OK, there is a shred of truth to some–I’m sure you’ll figure out which is which won’t you? Any resemblance to public figures is intentional; for all others it’s coincidental.
It’s mostly about Trump, his associates and allies. But isn’t mocking people’s names a little juvenile, you ask?Well sure it is, but that’s for verisimilitude. Trump may be 70, chronologically, but he has an emotional maturity of a 13 to 15-year-old.
It’s difficult to successfully satirize Trump. How would you mock the Three Stooges? Trump is not only funny, he’s dangerous. But since the media and many politicians not only take him seriously but are actively trying to normalize him after all the stuff he’s said and done, mockery is what’s left for me to do. So here’s the New Year’s Eve edition of Really Fake News.
Kellyanne Corncob, every surrogate and the entire Trump team continues to reject the notion that the Russians hacked the DNC. Even if they did, she says, Obama’s sanctions against the Russians are politically motivated to “box him [Trump] in.” Trump himself asks if the US knew the Russians did it, why didn’t the Obama administration impose the sanctions long ago? Trump et al, say it’s all to delegitimize his election. [Really? Nothing to do with national security?] Obamareportedlysays, behind closed doors, that he doesn’t need to delegitimize Trump’s win–Trump’s been doing a fine job of that all by himself.
More breaking news on the Russian Front (Putin and Trump, that is). An anonymous source linked this NSA intercept of a recent call between Trump and Putin.
“Hey, Vlad baby, thanks for that smart move with the sanctions. That will make it easier for me to remove them after I’m in the White House–soon to be the Trump House, hahaha.”
“Donny, don’t worry about the sanctions Obama imposed. We can handle them for awhile. Wait a few months before you remove them all–and the other ones about Crimea and the Ukraine. If you act too quickly, you’ll have trouble with Congress.”
“Are you sure you can stand them, Vlad?”
“Absolutely, Donny boy. Just remember, we’re always here for you. If you do get in trouble–like being impeached for conflicts of interest with all your business dealings, you can move to Russia. We treat our oligarchs very, very well here. You can make as much money as you want without annoying laws and regulations hemming you in. You could finally become a billionaire for real!”
“How about a reality TV show on RT?
“Sure, no problem. But you’ll want more than that won’t you? Resorts, casinos, golf courses and more–right? Just get rid of those sanctions in a few months. ”
“Right. OK, but if I’m going to dump those sanctions, I’ll need approval for several projects up front. Donald Jr., will be in touch about them.”
“Sure, we can do that. But be careful about calls like this. We can’t help you if you go too far and get charged with treason!”
“Hey, I’ll be President. No conflicts. I can do whatever I want. Say, you really didn’t do that hacking did you?”
“No, of course not! You trust Infofarce, the National Enquirer, WhiteBark and Sean Insanity don’t you?”
“Oh sure. That’s why I don’t bother with those stupid PDBs. I’m smarter than those intelligence agencies!”
Turns out Israel’s proof that the Obama administration orchestrated the UN Security Council Resolution condemning Israeli settlements comes from Trump associates. This according to hacked emails recently released from WackyLeaks. The emails are between David Friedman (President-Elect Trump’s nominee for Ambassador to Israel), Alicia (formerly Alex) Jones and Roger Stone. The emails show that the three conspired to frame Obama, John Kerry and Samantha Powers to embarrass them and kill the “two-state solution.” Trump, Friedman and Israeli leaders are turning cartwheels at the thought of building still more settlements. Israel’s reflexive response by Netanyahoo on down, castigating Obama, came exactly as expected.
Breaking News from WhiteBark (formerly known as Breitbart), courtesy of Sean Spicer. The Trump Inaugural Committee has changed its mind about accepting the offer of Russian punk group Pussy Riot to perform their hit video, [NOTE: this video is NOT safe for work]“Make America Great Again,” at inaugural events.
“Well, we heard Trump was having trouble getting A-listers to perform, so we figured he must be desperate by now,” according to a spokesperson for the group.
After viewing the performance on a smartphone in the Trump Grill, a shocked committee member fell over in a dead faint into a plate of so-so food. Too bad the tweet from Trump’s BFF Vlad, “Nyet, nyet!” arrived too late to save the committee member from embarrassment.
In other inaugural News: The Committee confirmed that Ted Nugent will replace 16-year-old Jackie Evancho in singing the national anthem. Evancho had to cancel for unspecified reasons. Nugent’s version might best be called the Star Strangled Banner. [Caution: He’ll be strapped, so NO booing].
News from Communications Director/Press Secretary Sean Spicer: Tweets from Trump will continue throughout his presidency–[for however long it lasts]. News media are encouraged to follow @unrealDonaldTrump as he plans to have news conferences only annually.Whenever he has insults, boasts or policy announcements (foreign or domestic), that’s where to find them, according to “Hot Stuff” Spicer. “Hot Stuff” and others in the Trump organizationtransition team administration will continue to provide interpretation, translation or explanation of what they think Trump actually means by the tweets. No one can be sure, of course.
“All the better to be unpredictable,” Trump says in his own words. “Eff ’em if they can’t take a joke.”
Recent tweets from Donald Trump’s twitter account [@unrealDonaldTrump]
Sunshine today across Florida. We’re at Mar-a- Lago. Looks great for picnics, walks and more. Thanks for the fine weather Donald!
Rain today at Mar-a-Lago. Obama’s trying to ruin my New Year’s celebration. Sun will shine on me everywhere from January 21st!
Insulting media rumors are TOTALLY UNTRUE. Melania NEVER calls me Beavis. She’ll be giving a news conference soon denying media lies.
Anonymous post on Facebook backs up the Beavis rumor. What started as another review of the Trump Grill in Trump Tower wound up including parts of an overheard conversation between Melania and Kellyanne Corncob,
“Beavis keeps jumping ahead of Barron when they’re playing Nintendo or PlayStation—whatever that stupid game thing is. He’s supposed to wait his turn but he gets so impatient. Just like becoming President. He wants to be in charge right now.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t call your husband “Beavis,” Melania.”
“Why? He acts just like Beavis; getting all excited when he hears the names for women’s body parts! Especially when he’s with Bannon and they see someone young and pretty.”
“Oh, I don’t believe that! I never hear anything like that when I’m around.”
“Uh, well . . . Anyway, the two of them even look like Beavis and Butthead, especially Donald.”
Carl Paladino insists that his name is Paladino and NOT Palamino.
This despite making comments about Barack and Michelle Obama that lend credence to the notion that he is at least a horse’s ass.Note: the paragraph that follows and the block quote below are actual news–NOT fake news.
Trump’s former New York campaign co-chair hoped that Barack would “die of mad cow disease” and “Michelle would turn back into a male and go live in a cave in Africa.” In a statement reported by the Albany Times Union, Paladino [AKA Palamino] said,
“It has nothing to do with race. That’s the typical stance of the press when they can’t otherwise defend the acts of the person being attacked.”
Meanwhile, Alicia Jones (of Infofarce.com) and Rush (AKA The Cheesy Chub) Limberger are reportedly fighting over who will get to have a midnight tryst with the Buffalo horseman. Perhaps they can find a secluded barn for the three of them.
An off-duty Turkish policeman shot and killed Russian Ambassador Andrey Karlov in Ankara today. The shooter shouted, among other things, “Remember Aleppo. Remember Syria.” The Russian Foreign Ministry called it an act of terror. Of course it was that. Presumably, the Russian Ambassador to Turkey is an innocent civilian.
Notably, killing thousands of innocent civilians in Aleppo with barrel bombs, chlorine gas and white phosphorus incendiary munitions is not terrorism. It’s a war crime. A war crime committed with the help of Russian President Vladimir Putin freely given to Syrian President Bashar Al Assad’s. Russia supplies the jets and undoubtedly much of the munitions used against Aleppo. Russian jets flown by Russian pilots also strike Syrian targets. Putin says they’re targeting ISIS combatants. Only Donald Trump believes that. It takes a liar to believe a liar, one must assume. Oh, sorry, this is about Putin and Russia today, not Trump.
It’s a pity that the Ambassador should pay for Putin and Assad’s criminal behavior, but karma is what it is. He did choose to work for Putin. One day Putin’s karma will come due for Putin himself.