Some say we Americans should support the peaceful transition to a new President. Sure, no violence. Antipathy yes. Respect? No–for the office but not for the man. We can’t say for sure how much Russia helped get him elected. We can’t say for sure how much contact and collusion may have existed between Putin and Trump’s team. Based on Trump’s comments and behavior, it’s reasonable to think there was quite a bit. I have every reason to believe he will rank in the top five of the worst Presidents America has ever had. He’s the most manifestly unqualified. He’s dangerously ignorant with no desire to become informed, assuming he could.
It’s easy to do as I do here, mock and ridicule Trump with the same sort of fake news that helped propel him to the White House. While he relished, tweeted and retweeted all of the fake news that came out regarding Clinton, he now calls fake any derogatory information about him, his transition team or cabinet appointments. So I’ll persist in offering fake news. Why do it? It’s to keep the spirits up of the large majority of Americans and people around the world dismayed at Trump’s ascension to what he no doubt thinks of as a throne.
But isn’t there something more positive that can be done? Yes, there is. That means those who fear Trump or despise him for all that he says and does must reach out and talk with those who voted for him about matters of mutual concern. It does no good to simply cut ties with friends, neighbors and family members that voted for Trump. Rather, we have to listen to them about why they did what we consider totally irrational–voting for Trump. Some may be gullible. Some may be racist. Some may even have legitimate concerns that they felt weren’t being met by Hillary Clinton in particular or Democrats in general. It’s clearly pointless to expect Trump to unite America. That’s up to the rest of us.
Have a few laughs in the meantime, with the fake news here. Keep resisting. Keep whistleblowing. Keep peppering your Congressman or Senator with objections to cabinet picks or legislative proposals that will affect you if you’re American. March in protest, recognizing that such activity won’t directly affect Trump but besides making you feel good it will confirm polls that show Trump will enter the White House with the lowest approval rating of any President in the last 40 years.
Nothing below is presented as or claimed to be true (with minor exceptions noted)–although some of it could be. It is FAKE News. It’s satire.
Kellyanne Corncob said Trump’s words don’t matter in an interview on CNN a few days ago. Never mind what’s come out of his mouth, “look at what’s in his heart.” Using the most advanced technology available, select news outlets have scanned Trump’s chest from a distance. It appeared that, like the Tin Man, he had none. Upon closer examination, they determined that it was there, although shriveled up like a prune past its prime. Trump’s surrogates often complain that news media are taking him literally. So in this case, he’s not literally heartless—just compassionately challenged. See for yourself in this side-by-side comparison of a normal heart and Trump’s heart.
On behalf of Benedict Trump, National Security Adviser Michael “RT” Flynn, called the Russian Ambassador five times on December 29th. He reportedly said, according to a leak of an NSA intercept authorized by a FISA warrant,
“Don’t worry about Obama’s sanctions and those diplomats expelled. Once Trump’s in the White House we’ll roll them back and you can bring back as many spies—I mean diplomats—as you want.”
“Thank you, Comrade Flynn,” the ambassador replied.
Never mind the Russian prostitute story. Anonymous sources are saying that Vladimir Puta actually has video tape of he and Trump involved in a romantic romp. You can see from the photo that Puta likes going topless. Notice the hairless chest and incipient moobs. Not super macho. Metrosexual maybe. More likely bisexual than homosexual. He also clearly likes horsing around. Trump has denied the rumor as “FAKE NEWS. Ridiculous. Never happened.” The Russian leader also denied the rumor, coincidentally using the exact same words, saying it’s “Fake news. Ridiculous. Never happened.”
The Burlington Liars Club, which for 88 years has awarded a “Lie of the Year” prize, has reportedly banned Donald Trump. A club spokesperson said, “If he were permitted to enter the competition each year, no one else could ever win again.”
Trump keeps attacking the US intelligence agencies. Possibly that has something to do with his own intelligence. Compare these images of a normal brain with Trump’s brain. Meanwhile, Comrade Flynn is denying reports from anonymous sources in the Trump team that US intelligence agencies and the Russian FSB will be sharing intel just as the US, EU and other allies have done for decades.
[True] Don’s Johns logos were taped over on the porta potties set up for the inauguration. Apparently some Trump transition team member thought it could leave the wrong impression on attendees. That, because the owner, is NOT (surprisingly) Donald Trump but a local business with the same first name. [FAKE follows]To remedy the situation the porta potty owner agreed to install gold-plated toilet seats in all the units. The seats will be supplied by an unknown donor to the Trump campaign. Then the porta potties will once again show the Don’s Johns name–reflecting the Trump sense of style.