A Trump Presidency

Photo of Trump at a campaign event
REUTERS/Dominick

Here’s what will happen if Trump wins the election.

  • The stock market crashes, slashing retirement funds and investor income
  • Russia invades and takes over Ukraine—the US does nothing
  • Emergency rooms are swamped as people formerly insured by Obamacare come to hospitals for routine treatment
  • Planned Parenthood shuts down after Federal funding is eliminated; infant mortality, breast and uterine cancer rates increase dramatically
  • Stephen Bannon, Rudy Giuliani, Chris Christie, Roger Stone, Newt Gingrich, Michael Flynn, Katrina Pierson and a couple others are appointed to his cabinet
  • The KKK, neo-nazis and other right wing groups hold celebrations throughout the country after the election
  • Trump employs undocumented workers as housekeepers, cooks and waiters in the former White House—now known as Trump House
  • More coal is mined and burned—global warming accelerates with increased carbon emissions
  • Michelle Obama’s garden is replaced by the Trump House Casino
  • Roe v Wade is repealed by extreme conservatives appointed to the Supreme Court by Trump; backstreet abortions cause septicemia, scarring and some fatalities
  • US military bases, missile defense systems, etc. are closed or removed from countries who don’t pay their fair share to NATO
  • The FBI drops the Manafort investigation and other inquiries about Trump aides connections with Russians
  • A special prosecutor is named to investigate Hillary Clinton
  • Trump orders all federal investigators and the military to employ waterboarding and any other means necessary to get the truth from suspected terrorists
  • Vendors for balls, bleachers, parades and other inaugural-related events sue Trump for unpaid invoices
  • Trump orders Homeland Security to enforce a policy that TSA ask for proof of citizenship of all persons who look Hispanic or Muslim, traveling by air domestically
  • The national debt increases substantially as tax revenues decline and expenditures rise for national golf courses, casinos and the like
  • Trump tells state and local police they should ask for proof of citizenship and religion during routine traffic stops and when stopping and frisking suspicious looking individuals
  • Senior military officials who were members of the Joint Chiefs or otherwise served under Obama’s leadership are replaced by those of ideological purity and military incompetence
  • All women appointed to Cabinet positions (1-2) and agency heads had to be rated at 7.5 or above by Trump—no fatties, no flat chests
  • Congress impeaches Trump as Trump Organization business interests overseas influence many foreign policy decisions,  enriching him and his family
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6 thoughts on “A Trump Presidency”

  1. How about Trump builds a wall on the southern border, sues Mexico for the cost, and uses the excuse that they’re not paying to, in turn, not pay the people who supplied the materials to build it?

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