So DJT tweets that Judge James Robart (US District Court for the Western District of Washington) is a “so-called” judge because he ruled against Trump’s refugee ban. Let’s just refer to Trump as America’s “so-called President.” So SAD! After all, he lost the popular vote by nearly three million. He had the smallest inaugural since John Quincy Adams (oh, that’s an alternative fact–it wasn’t really that small, close though). Of course he also had a lot of help from his BFF Vlad and FBI Director Comey.
Speaking of that executive order, here’s a picture of the crew at the White House working on getting the order out and into operation.
MORE FAKE NEWS below. Any resemblance to alternative facts is entirely intended. To truth, not so much.
The so-called President of the US has, with the assistance of so-called Libertarian (but really more of a Log Cabin Republican) Peter Thiel, deployed an executive order app to be used in conjunction with his twitter feed. Henceforth, Trump will be able issue EOs on a daily basis with tweets to accompany them. Here’s a sample of some upcoming orders:
At the request of the NRA, a rule that anyone above the age of 12–who has completed an NRA gun safety course, will be able to purchase the following weapons for self-defense, as well as for hunting armored animals and mutant species of game following the alien invasion from space
50-caliber sniper rifles
AR-15 fully automatic rifles
Certain RPG and antitank weapons
EPA regulations prohibiting the discharge of any industrial waste products into rivers, streams or navigable waterways will immediately be suspended. This includes the following chemicals
Petroleum and petroleum-based compounds
Heavy metals and related compounds
Medical waste and sewage
Several anti-business elements of Dodd-Frank prohibitions will be eliminated, enabling banks, Wall Street firms and others covered by the law to make money the old-fashioned way–by screwing ordinary Americans
In another recent tweet, our so-called president has urged a boycott of Nordstrom and any other retailers that stop selling Ivanka Trump’s clothing or jewelry lines. [Nordstrom said it wasn’t in response to boycott threats by anti-Trump elements but poor sales of Ivanka’s stuff–oh well, guess disapproval is contagious]
Speaking of Ivanka, people are saying that she will join husband Jared at any future meetings where military actions are discussed and approved by her father. They will also be attending all state dinners, if there are any. Plans for such events have been on hold as prospective invitees have declined White House invitations after the refugee ban and the so-called president’s brusque and insulting calls to foreign leaders. Reportedly, Philippine President Duterte is the only foreign dignitary that has remained on an accepted guest list. If they ever do hold a state dinner, background music will include Sly Stone’s, “It’s a Family Affair.”
In another tweet, so-called President Trump has warned of “death and destruction,” if fake courts don’t permit him to ban foreign nationals from all professional as well as amateur sports teams that play in the US. Canadian NHL teams are up in arms, with some players overheard saying Trump should “go puck himself.”
UPDATED: Some Customs and Border Patrol agents may be going to jail or facing fines for refusing to obey Judge Brinkema’s order placing a stay on Trump’s executive order. That’s called contempt of court and Federal Judges don’t like it one bit. But hey what the hell does Trump care about laws, the US Constitution or the like. He’s the President–laws don’t apply to him. Here’s a link to just ONE of the stories about this abuse by CBP and the Trump administration.
Still doing satirical “Fake News” here. Is there a distinction between that and the alternative facts that the Trump empire puts out? Maybe, but I doubt it matters much. MOST of what follows is untrue, AKA fake or alternative. If I claim it to be true, you’ll know because I put a big T in front of it. We must hope and pray for the safety and survival of our democratic society and our economic welfare. Don’t give up! Fight back by calling, messaging or visiting your elected officials.
ALT FACTs below. None are deemed true unless indicated. BUT who knows, many could become true!
After his one-hour call with Vladimir “Puta” Putin on January 27, El Presidenté Trump issued the following executive order today:
All Federal publications must now come with a Russian language version. Additionally, all road signs in the Interstate Highway System will be replaced (on their ordinary maintenance schedule) with signs in both English and Russian. On an expedited schedule, international airports within the US must replace all signage and communication displays (including arrival, departure and other information) with ones in both English and Russian.
As a related matter, Trump has directed his Education Secretary nominee, Betsy “Devo” DeVos to develop a Russian language immersion curriculum for distribution to elementary schools across the country as soon as she takes office.
In the meantime, Trump son Barron will be taking a rapid learning course in Russian. Melania and the many adult Trump children will begin Russian language studies as soon as possible. It’s rumored that these steps are a precautionary measure should Trump need to quickly relocate to a dacha in Russia. BFF Vlad has promised the family sanctuary if ever needed.
We have learned that G. Gordon Liddy will introduce a showing of Leni Riefenstahl’s movie, “Triumph of the Will,” at the White House. As you may recall, Liddy played the movie at the White House for the “Plumbers” during the Nixon administration. This comes at the request of Steve “Butthead” Bannon. People are saying that Butthead may ask Liddy to come out of retirement to join him as a deputy adviser. On a somewhat related matter, two Butthead cronies from DarkFart (AKA Not-So-Brightbart) will be joining him at the White House. Here’s a little sample of Hitler’s propaganda video. Judge for yourself it looks or sounds familiar.
(A True sentence is included in this paragraph, in red color and enclosed within brackets.) At the same time, Beavis (AKA Donald Trump) issued another executive order providing that Butthead will be a [“principal” attending all National Security Council meetings while the Director of National Intelligence and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff would be invited to attend where issues pertaining to their responsibilities and expertise are to be discussed.]
So it seems obvious that Beavis prefers national security to be a matter of politics directed by the White Nationalist/self-described Leninist Butthead–rather than non-partisan experts.
People in Las Vegas are saying that oddsmakers have begun taking bets on how many months of his four-year term Trump will actually serve. Almost no one believes that he might resign in the face of impeachment or any other scandal, as did Richard Nixon in 1974. That would confirm him as a loser, something that he couldn’t accept. Rather, the bets people want to make are based on the prospect of these three reasons he might be removed from office:
Impeachment due to violation of the emoluments clause of the US Constitution (receiving financial benefits from foreign governments)
Impeachment for treason or other criminal offenses associated with his involvement with Russia.
Removal under Article 4 of the 25th amendment for inability to discharge the duties of his office. Why? For a mental disability—like dementia, Alzheimer’s or some other mental disorder. This can be accomplished by the Vice President and a majority of cabinet officials submitting such a declaration to the President pro tem of the Senate and the Speaker of the House.
The last of the three might be politically unlikely, but if he really pisses off the GOP leaders of Congress, it could happen. They undoubtedly would be happy with Mike Pence taking over. How off is Trump? Well all you have to do is listen to a few of his statements or read his tweets. Like the obsession about the inaugural crowd size. As Chico Marx said in Duck Soup, “Who you gonna believe—me or your own eyes?” Or the voter fraud–3-5 million people voting for Hillary
This just in: Trump is now saying he has proof from UFO experts that pod people cast votes for Clinton AND that those votes accounted for her popular vote win.
Or consider his problem of contradicting his own past statements, repeatedly. Is he lying or does he really not remember what he said? Does he even know the difference between fact and fiction? Is he already demented or is he simply a pathological liar. Hard to say. Either way, it’s a national security issue because the rest of the world won’t know whether to believe anything Trump says.
Darth Trump delivered another dystopian vision of America in his inaugural address. Crafted by Steve “Black Mind” Bannon, Darth says only he can save us from the “carnage.” How inspiring! Except, of course, the “rusted factories like tombstones” arise from the darkest visions of Bannon and the deluded mind of Trump.
Meanwhile Trump’s approval ratings upon becoming President of the US are six to ten points (depending on the poll) BELOWhis percentage of the popular vote. Voter remorse has already set in and is growing. The Women’s March on Saturday surpassed his inaugural attendance just in Washington, DC. If you add in the protests around the US and the world, they’re likely to be quadruple his inauguration crowd. He and his cohorts don’t think so. He blames everyone, but primarily the media for underestimating his supporters. See more below.
Trump may be a winner, having been installed as President due to his modest sized (NOT landside) electoral college win, but he constantly behaves as a loser. He whines and whines, about the least slight. A slight he perceives as more substantial requires a full-blown tweetstorm. He behaves like a toddler denied a toy or treat he demanded of adults. Such adults, of course, are not among his staff or advisers. They support and encourage his whining. Not only do they back up his whining, they have taken on his most annoying beliefs and behaviors as their own.
Sean Sriracha seethes about the inaugural crowd size reported by all the media. Sriracha nearly screams the bald-face lie that, “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration. Period.” [Imagine something like 53 exclamation marks at the end of Sriracha’s statement.] He might as well have added, don’t believe your own eyes; believe what WE TELL YOU. That’s worked for Pravda for decades. Kellyanne Corncob says her buddy Sean was presenting “alternative facts.” Kind of like the alternative-right, eh? The side-by-side aerial photos of Obama’s 2009 crowd and Trump’s 2017 event couldn’t be more obvious–Sean’s been drinking Trump koolaid.
Kellyanne Corncob displays Trump’s propensity to project his own faults and personality traits onto others. She calls former CIA Director Brennan a “partisan political hack.” No Corncob, he has a highly regarded multi-decade career working across party lines. He served in the CIA from the Reagan administration through Clinton and on through both Bushes. Look in the mirror KC and see an aging political hack. Brennan’s only fault today is telling it like it is about Trump.
Reince Doofus is complaining that the media are trying to delegitimize Trump’s presidency. Doofus says the administration is going to fight back. Well DUH! Trump did that himself by making effective use of Russian hacking, WackyLeaks and fake news propagated by the National Enquirer.
Speaking of the Enquirer, they are among a bunch of “news” organizations that will be granted White House press credentials that Sean Sriracha can call on at briefings beginning Monday. Possibly FAKE NEWS follows–but could be mostly true–you be the judge. Along with Trump’s organ paper, just some of the new correspondents will come from:
Infowars (AKA Infofarce)
RT (Russian Television), Sputnik News and Pravda
Breitbart (also known to some as Darkfart or WhiteBark)
Stormfront (main neo-nazi site)
The Drudge Report (AKA Dimwit Report)
John McCain and Lindsey Graham wimp out. Despite Rex Tillerson’s ties to Russia and his manifest lack of qualifications, they will vote for him as Secretary of State. As Trump would say, if they were voting the other way: “LOSERS! SAD!”
Some say we Americans should support the peaceful transition to a new President. Sure, no violence. Antipathy yes. Respect? No–for the office but not for the man. We can’t say for sure how much Russia helped get him elected. We can’t say for sure how much contact and collusion may have existed between Putin and Trump’s team. Based on Trump’s comments and behavior, it’s reasonable to think there was quite a bit. I have every reason to believe he will rank in the top five of the worst Presidents America has ever had. He’s the most manifestly unqualified. He’s dangerously ignorant with no desire to become informed, assuming he could.
It’s easy to do as I do here, mock and ridicule Trump with the same sort of fake news that helped propel him to the White House. While he relished, tweeted and retweeted all of the fake news that came out regarding Clinton, he now calls fake any derogatory information about him, his transition team or cabinet appointments. So I’ll persist in offering fake news. Why do it? It’s to keep the spirits up of the large majority of Americans and people around the worlddismayed at Trump’s ascension to what he no doubt thinks of as a throne.
But isn’t there something more positive that can be done?Yes, there is.That means those who fear Trump or despise him for all that he says and does must reach out and talk with those who voted for him about matters of mutual concern. It does no good to simply cut ties with friends, neighbors and family members that voted for Trump. Rather, we have to listen to them about why they did what we consider totally irrational–voting for Trump. Some may be gullible. Some may be racist. Some may even have legitimate concerns that they felt weren’t being met by Hillary Clinton in particular or Democrats in general. It’s clearly pointless to expect Trump to unite America. That’s up to the rest of us.
Have a few laughs in the meantime, with the fake news here. Keep resisting. Keep whistleblowing. Keep peppering your Congressman or Senator with objections to cabinet picks or legislative proposals that will affect you if you’re American. March in protest, recognizing that such activity won’t directly affect Trump but besides making you feel good it will confirm polls that show Trump will enter the White House with the lowest approval rating of any President in the last 40 years.
Nothing below is presented as or claimed to be true (with minor exceptions noted)–although some of it could be. It is FAKE News. It’s satire.
Kellyanne Corncob said Trump’s words don’t matter in an interview on CNN a few days ago. Never mind what’s come out of his mouth, “look at what’s in his heart.” Using the most advanced technology available, select news outlets have scanned Trump’s chest from a distance. It appeared that, like the Tin Man, he had none. Upon closer examination, they determined that it was there, although shriveled up like a prune past its prime. Trump’s surrogates often complain that news media are taking him literally. So in this case, he’s not literally heartless—just compassionately challenged. See for yourself in this side-by-side comparison of a normal heart and Trump’s heart.
On behalf of Benedict Trump, National Security Adviser Michael “RT” Flynn, called the Russian Ambassador five times on December 29th.Hereportedly said, according to a leak of an NSA intercept authorized by a FISA warrant,
“Don’t worry about Obama’s sanctions and those diplomats expelled. Once Trump’s in the White House we’ll roll them back and you can bring back as many spies—I mean diplomats—as you want.”
“Thank you, Comrade Flynn,” the ambassador replied.
It’s the commemoration of Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday tomorrow. A day for voluntarily providing some kind of service in King’s memory. Here’s a link to the national site where you can find a place to volunteer or record what your group did.
In my small locale, there’s not many opportunities for such service. So next year, I’ll have to try harder and sooner to not let the day go by. I hope you will find something you can do.
While I should stop there I can’t. With the inauguration of someone who shares none of the values nor the accomplishments of King coming next Friday, I must continue. To be fair, Donald Trump did PLAN on visiting the Smithsonian African-American History Museum tomorrow. But he had to cancel due to “scheduling conflicts.”
So herewith,MORE FAKE NEWS!Ending with what he will be doing instead of visiting the Smithsonian.
Trump considered Attorney General nominee Jefferson Beauregard Session’s suggestion to volunteer at the Museum of the War of Northern Aggression in Alabama. Heultimately declined due to travel time issues.
Trump SERIOUSLY considered serving food in Little Odessa—Brighton Beach.Apparently he misunderstood the relationship of the Russian emigres there with Vladimir Putin and the oligarchs back home.Vlad nixed that idea after Donald mentioned it to him.
Finally, the right place dawned on him, a cat rescue shelter in Tribeca. Trump tweeted this about his choice:
I just love pussies, especially grabbing and holding them. Oh WHAT A FEELING!
This is satire. All “news” on THIS post is FAKE unless indicated otherwise. OK, there is a shred of truth to some–I’m sure you’ll figure out which is which won’t you? Any resemblance to public figures is intentional; for all others it’s coincidental.
It’s mostly about Trump, his associates and allies. But isn’t mocking people’s names a little juvenile, you ask?Well sure it is, but that’s for verisimilitude. Trump may be 70, chronologically, but he has an emotional maturity of a 13 to 15-year-old.
It’s difficult to successfully satirize Trump. How would you mock the Three Stooges? Trump is not only funny, he’s dangerous. But since the media and many politicians not only take him seriously but are actively trying to normalize him after all the stuff he’s said and done, mockery is what’s left for me to do. So here’s the New Year’s Eve edition of Really Fake News.
Kellyanne Corncob, every surrogate and the entire Trump team continues to reject the notion that the Russians hacked the DNC. Even if they did, she says, Obama’s sanctions against the Russians are politically motivated to “box him [Trump] in.” Trump himself asks if the US knew the Russians did it, why didn’t the Obama administration impose the sanctions long ago? Trump et al, say it’s all to delegitimize his election. [Really? Nothing to do with national security?] Obamareportedlysays, behind closed doors, that he doesn’t need to delegitimize Trump’s win–Trump’s been doing a fine job of that all by himself.
More breaking news on the Russian Front (Putin and Trump, that is). An anonymous source linked this NSA intercept of a recent call between Trump and Putin.
“Hey, Vlad baby, thanks for that smart move with the sanctions. That will make it easier for me to remove them after I’m in the White House–soon to be the Trump House, hahaha.”
“Donny, don’t worry about the sanctions Obama imposed. We can handle them for awhile. Wait a few months before you remove them all–and the other ones about Crimea and the Ukraine. If you act too quickly, you’ll have trouble with Congress.”
“Are you sure you can stand them, Vlad?”
“Absolutely, Donny boy. Just remember, we’re always here for you. If you do get in trouble–like being impeached for conflicts of interest with all your business dealings, you can move to Russia. We treat our oligarchs very, very well here. You can make as much money as you want without annoying laws and regulations hemming you in. You could finally become a billionaire for real!”
“How about a reality TV show on RT?
“Sure, no problem. But you’ll want more than that won’t you? Resorts, casinos, golf courses and more–right? Just get rid of those sanctions in a few months. ”
“Right. OK, but if I’m going to dump those sanctions, I’ll need approval for several projects up front. Donald Jr., will be in touch about them.”
“Sure, we can do that. But be careful about calls like this. We can’t help you if you go too far and get charged with treason!”
“Hey, I’ll be President. No conflicts. I can do whatever I want. Say, you really didn’t do that hacking did you?”
“No, of course not! You trust Infofarce, the National Enquirer, WhiteBark and Sean Insanity don’t you?”
“Oh sure. That’s why I don’t bother with those stupid PDBs. I’m smarter than those intelligence agencies!”
Turns out Israel’s proof that the Obama administration orchestrated the UN Security Council Resolution condemning Israeli settlements comes from Trump associates. This according to hacked emails recently released from WackyLeaks. The emails are between David Friedman (President-Elect Trump’s nominee for Ambassador to Israel), Alicia (formerly Alex) Jones and Roger Stone. The emails show that the three conspired to frame Obama, John Kerry and Samantha Powers to embarrass them and kill the “two-state solution.” Trump, Friedman and Israeli leaders are turning cartwheels at the thought of building still more settlements. Israel’s reflexive response by Netanyahoo on down, castigating Obama, came exactly as expected.
Breaking News from WhiteBark (formerly known as Breitbart), courtesy of Sean Spicer. The Trump Inaugural Committee has changed its mind about accepting the offer of Russian punk group Pussy Riot to perform their hit video, [NOTE: this video is NOT safe for work]“Make America Great Again,” at inaugural events.
“Well, we heard Trump was having trouble getting A-listers to perform, so we figured he must be desperate by now,” according to a spokesperson for the group.
After viewing the performance on a smartphone in the Trump Grill, a shocked committee member fell over in a dead faint into a plate of so-so food. Too bad the tweet from Trump’s BFF Vlad, “Nyet, nyet!” arrived too late to save the committee member from embarrassment.
In other inaugural News: The Committee confirmed that Ted Nugent will replace 16-year-old Jackie Evancho in singing the national anthem. Evancho had to cancel for unspecified reasons. Nugent’s version might best be called the Star Strangled Banner. [Caution: He’ll be strapped, so NO booing].
News from Communications Director/Press Secretary Sean Spicer: Tweets from Trump will continue throughout his presidency–[for however long it lasts]. News media are encouraged to follow @unrealDonaldTrump as he plans to have news conferences only annually.Whenever he has insults, boasts or policy announcements (foreign or domestic), that’s where to find them, according to “Hot Stuff” Spicer. “Hot Stuff” and others in the Trump organizationtransition team administration will continue to provide interpretation, translation or explanation of what they think Trump actually means by the tweets. No one can be sure, of course.
“All the better to be unpredictable,” Trump says in his own words. “Eff ’em if they can’t take a joke.”
Recent tweets from Donald Trump’s twitter account [@unrealDonaldTrump]
Sunshine today across Florida. We’re at Mar-a- Lago. Looks great for picnics, walks and more. Thanks for the fine weather Donald!
Rain today at Mar-a-Lago. Obama’s trying to ruin my New Year’s celebration. Sun will shine on me everywhere from January 21st!
Insulting media rumors are TOTALLY UNTRUE. Melania NEVER calls me Beavis. She’ll be giving a news conference soon denying media lies.
Anonymous post on Facebook backs up the Beavis rumor. What started as another review of the Trump Grill in Trump Tower wound up including parts of an overheard conversation between Melania and Kellyanne Corncob,
“Beavis keeps jumping ahead of Barron when they’re playing Nintendo or PlayStation—whatever that stupid game thing is. He’s supposed to wait his turn but he gets so impatient. Just like becoming President. He wants to be in charge right now.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t call your husband “Beavis,” Melania.”
“Why? He acts just like Beavis; getting all excited when he hears the names for women’s body parts! Especially when he’s with Bannon and they see someone young and pretty.”
“Oh, I don’t believe that! I never hear anything like that when I’m around.”
“Uh, well . . . Anyway, the two of them even look like Beavis and Butthead, especially Donald.”
Carl Paladino insists that his name is Paladino and NOT Palamino.
This despite making comments about Barack and Michelle Obama that lend credence to the notion that he is at least a horse’s ass.Note: the paragraph that follows and the block quote below are actual news–NOT fake news.
Trump’s former New York campaign co-chair hoped that Barack would “die of mad cow disease” and “Michelle would turn back into a male and go live in a cave in Africa.” In a statement reported by the Albany Times Union, Paladino [AKA Palamino] said,
“It has nothing to do with race. That’s the typical stance of the press when they can’t otherwise defend the acts of the person being attacked.”
Meanwhile, Alicia Jones (of Infofarce.com) and Rush (AKA The Cheesy Chub) Limberger are reportedly fighting over who will get to have a midnight tryst with the Buffalo horseman. Perhaps they can find a secluded barn for the three of them.
Even as President-Elect, Donald Trump has no hesitation in making policy pronouncements (via tweet, which his team must interpret and translate) as if he were already in the White House. Today came his tweet that the US must expand its nuclear arsenal. In response to a question by a radio host, he added that if it’s an arms race, we’ll win. For 40 years each American President has worked to reduce the US stockpile of weapons in conjunction with other countries. In a tweet, Trump cavalierly appears to abandon that perspective.
In the December 2016 Eagle Peak Quarterly, we featured an excellent piece by retired diplomat Bob Tansey. In it, he expounded on the words of Nichiren Daishonin, 13th century Buddhist. To read the entire piece, please go here.
Nichiren states, “If you care anything about your personal security, you should first of all pray for order and tranquility throughout the four quarters of the land, should you not?”
That certainly seems like an appropriate response to Trump’s most recent unthinking outburst. Here’s a little more from Tansey’s article:
In his 1260 treatise, written in the form of a dialogue between a host and a guest, Nichiren recounts the many disasters confronting medieval Japan, such as famine, internal strife and foreign invasion. . . . He also brings up the challenge of “reforming the tenets in our hearts.” That means to examine our basic beliefs (which are mixed with emotion as well) and seek to perceive our own enlightened potential and perspective—strengths arguably much in need at this moment in our own United States of America.
Reflecting on these two key phrases from Nichiren’s rather lengthy treatise led me back to an earlier writing of his, “On Attaining Buddhahood in this Lifetime.” From all of Shakyamuni’s teachings and all that flowed from over those two thousand years, Nichiren adopted the tradition of the Lotus Sutra. I’ve been practicing Buddhism for going on five decades but am not a Buddhist scholar. Nonetheless, I like to say that to me “On Attaining Buddhahood…” (which is notably brief) summarizes the key principles of the Lotus Sutra:
The idea that everyone has the potential to reveal their inherent “Buddha Nature,” which seems to me to be a statement of ultimate equality. Nichiren Buddhism sees the Buddha nature as the inherent potential within each human being to attain Buddhahood, the state of enlightenment and the goal of Buddhist practice. It’s also the tenth or highest of the “Ten Worlds” (states or conditions of existence).
Interconnectedness, aka “dependent origination,” i.e. though we may believe we’re separate from others our lives and fortunes are intertwined. “On Attaining Buddhahood…” states in part, “It is called the Mystic Law because it reveals the principle of the mutually inclusive relationship of a single moment of life and all phenomena.”
Causality, i.e. ultimately what we think, say and do is determinative rather than external factors. Nichiren states, “Whether you chant the Buddha’s name, recite the sutra, or merely offer flowers and incense, all your virtuous acts will implant benefit and good fortune in your life.” He urged his followers to strive with this conviction, while fully cognizant that the society of his time was besieged by seemingly overwhelming negative forces. Nonetheless, he constantly emphasized the power of a single individual and of individuals working together to make a difference.
Bob spent decades around the world–China, Israel, Central America, Africa and more countries in Asia. He speaks five languages. Since retiring from the Foreign Service he has been working at high level position within the Nature Conservancy. So what is he doing to move forward? He’s working to create a community association in the multiracial neighborhood where he lives in Washington, DC.
An off-duty Turkish policeman shot and killed Russian Ambassador Andrey Karlov in Ankara today. The shooter shouted, among other things, “Remember Aleppo. Remember Syria.” The Russian Foreign Ministry called it an act of terror. Of course it was that. Presumably, the Russian Ambassador to Turkey is an innocent civilian.
Notably, killing thousands of innocent civilians in Aleppo with barrel bombs, chlorine gas and white phosphorus incendiary munitions is not terrorism. It’s a war crime. A war crime committed with the help of Russian President Vladimir Putin freely given to Syrian President Bashar Al Assad’s. Russia supplies the jets and undoubtedly much of the munitions used against Aleppo. Russian jets flown by Russian pilots also strike Syrian targets. Putin says they’re targeting ISIS combatants. Only Donald Trump believes that. It takes a liar to believe a liar, one must assume. Oh, sorry, this is about Putin and Russia today, not Trump.
It’s a pity that the Ambassador should pay for Putin and Assad’s criminal behavior, but karma is what it is. He did choose to work for Putin. One day Putin’s karma will come due for Putin himself.
This is satire. All “news” is as fake as what Infowars posts. Any resemblance to public figures is intentional; for any others it’s coincidental.
Breaking News: Based on reports from Infowars, Donald J. Trump has identified the 400-pound guy who actually hacked the DNC.
“It’s Abdul Muhammad Garcia [fake name to protect his identity], an illegal Mexican immigrant who also happens to be Muslim.”
“See, I told you those Mexicans are criminals. This one’s an Islamic terrorist too. Those CIA goofs kept saying it was the Russians–HAH. We’ll waterboard him first and then deport him!”
John Bolton has confirmed that this was a “false flag” operation originally concocted by neighbors of Trump’s Turnberry golf resort. They were angry at him for destroying their view. They hoped to blame Trump’s Russian cronies and cause him to lose the election due to his treasonous activities. As Kellyanne Conway said recently, the idea of Russians hacking the DNC and causing Hillary Clinton to lose the election is “laughable and ridiculous.” Mike Pompeo, Trump’s CIA nominee is reportedly not laughing, but that’s not been confirmed.
Speaking of Infowars, Alex Jones has denied reports he is soon going to become Alexa Jones.
“I’m making a fresh start. My name will be Alicia, not Alexa!” says Jones.
WhiteBark, Steve Bannon’s site formerly known as Breitbart to some or “Darkf**t to opponents, is saying that Trump is definitely planning a Two-China policy.
One from column A and one from column B for the diplomatic lunch special. Hah, got you with the joke, eh. No, actually he will be hard on the People’s Republic of China. Although they supposedly should be helpful dealing with North Korea, they have not been doing a great job in recent years. So he’s going to enlist his Labor Secretary Andy Puzder to send those bikini-clad models from his Carl’s, Jr. ads with a weekly supply of multidecker burgers with supersize fries to Kim Jong Un. Kim has been trying valiantly to gain the rotundity of his grandfather. With Trump and Puzder’s help he may soon get there. Then, no more worries about nukes–just don’t stand behind the North Korean leader after a meal.
Meanwhile, sources within the Trump transition team are saying that he has a major climate initiative planned his first year in office. He will task Homeland Security chief, Retired Marine General Kelly and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross to work together on a NOAA project to stop El Nino and La Nina from affecting U.S. weather. Trump reportedly told them,
“With names like that, they must be Mexicans. No more illegal weather immigration into America. Let’s Make America’s Weather Great Again!”
No word yet on how tall a wall will be needed to keep these illegals out. Kelly and Ross will have to figure that out.
Fakey News, coming next week and monthly or so thereafter. You know all about the “Fake News,” this is making fun of that. Meaning, satirizing the sites that Donald, Mike Flynn and others in the Trump Tweetery lives by. For example, like this:
“We are Devos!” Rumor has it that Donald Trump and Betsy DeVos are channeling that 80s group, Devo. Donald and Betsy are definitely devolving, as you can see.
According to the Dreck Report, people are saying that Infowars Alex Jones has been consulting Caitlyn Jenner on how to go about becoming Alexa Jones. She’ll be just as conspiratorial after the change.
Breitbart is planning to relaunch the site as WhiteBark, referencing the European Birch in keeping with the Anglo origins of the White Race. People are saying they are looking into creating a variation of the internet, to be known as the World White Web. Thereafter, there will be no Alt-Right. Rather, it will be the Alt-White.
Donald Trump, incensed by an unfavorable comment by some executive at Walt Disney World, has tweeted that Mickey Mouse ran away from home in his youth after discovering that his father was a rat.
It’s so difficult to satirize Trump–not impossible, it just takes work. But I tire of complaining and pointing out all the dangerous shortcomings and foibles. So NOW, it’s mocking time. For him and his coterie of conspiracy crazies. Stay tuned.