Tag Archives: Trump

Trump Hits More Holes

Diagram of Trump ties to Russia
From Congressman Eric Swalwell’s website

Uh, that’s golf–not the ones he bragged about on the Access Hollywood tape. On the course nine times (every weekend) in seven weeks since the inaugural, Trump is on schedule to be getting in 267 rounds over a four-year term. Obama, who Trump complained of wasting too much time golfing, managed 333—over two four-year terms.  Of course it’s unlikely Trump will make it through a full-term. He’ll be impeached or otherwise removed from office long before then.

Known as a pathological liar, it shouldn’t be surprising that his word on a handshake isn’t worth much either. He fired Preet Bharara today, while on a golf course in Virginia, after asking him to stay on as US Attorney for the Southern District of New York. It also illustrates his lack of supposed business acumen (a farcical claim at best). Ask 46 US attorneys to resign–before even nominating, let alone confirming a single replacement. What happens to cases in progress? Ah, who cares. Same goes for the US State Department where most of the senior officials were let go–taking decades of institutional knowledge with them, without any replacements to step in.

So it’s clear enough that while Trump and his White House Wackos are concerned about the “Deep State,” where they’re taking the US is into Deep Sh-t. What comes from Trump’s White House is a shallow sewer of “alt-right” slime. It’s diseased water is filled with floating feces that have names–like Bannon, Gorka, Stephen Miller. They and their boss, the Golfer-in-Chief, revel in irrational and implausible  conspiracy theories while spewing hate in all directions.What comes from Trump's White House is a shallow sewer of alt-right slime Click To Tweet

How much meddling is Russia still exerting? What decisions and actions by Trump come at the behest of Vladimir Putin? Flynn lied. Sessions lied. Pence lied–when he said he’d never heard of Flynn working as an agent for Turkey despite receiving communications about personally addressed to him as head of the transition team. Each and every surrogate or spokesperson for Trump offers preposterous lies on a daily basis to the media. How many were in communication or actually met with the Russians and/or WikiLeaks and lied about it?

  • Paul Manafort
  • Roger Stone
  • Michael Flynn
  • Carter Page
  • Jeff Sessions
  • Jared Kushner

Why did Russian Oligarch Dmitry Rybolovlev buy a Palm Beach mansion for $95 million in 2008, which Trump had purchased for $41 million? Trump made no improvements and never lived there. The mansion apparently has since been torn down. Why did Rybolovlev’s  plane land at the same airport in tiny Concord, NC, where Trump had a rally? Why did it follow to Charlotte, NC. Why was it in Las Vegas at the same time as Trump’s plane?  All of these “coincidences” were in 2017.  See the story at McClatchy.  Perhaps the money was a loan or a bribe from Putin? Perhaps the travel itineraries were for in-person information exchanges (whether with aides or the principals directly) that couldn’t be traced.

Political connections, business connections and much more between  the Trump empire and Russia. See US Congressman Eric Swalwell’s chart of the connections on this page.  Watch Rachel Maddow for regular updates on the mushrooming data showing how much has happened and consider what might still be happening–especially considering the hollowing out of the State Department, Putin’s buddy Rex Tillerson’s silence and shut-out of the media so far as Secretary of State. Most of all, consider Emperor Trump’s total avoidance of any commentary on the WikiLeaks dump of CIA tools. Perhaps he simply doesn’t care. Perhaps Roger Stone told him it was coming. Perhaps he’d like to see the US intelligence agencies fail.

Is it America First or Russia First? Will Trump be the first US president tried for treason? Will Pence pardon him like Gerald Ford did Nixon? Pence might get away with a pardon for violation of the emoluments clause or other financial misdeeds. No need for a pardon if Trump has a complete mental breakdown and must be removed from office.

Why are Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell in such a rush to get the repeal and replacement (AKA, “repeal and wreck”) of the Affordable Care Act done? Could it be they fear how soon that Congress will be consumed with removing Trump from office and potentially staving off Putin’s takeover? It seems clear to me that this is the only rational reason for haste. Once the investigations get into full swing, Congress will have little time for any other productive work.

 

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US Customs Out of Control

Picture of Australian author Mem Fox
Mem Fox said she had never been spoken to with ‘such insolence’ by US Customs and Border Protection officers. Photo: AAP

Mosque attacks, Jewish cemeteries and now US Customs and Border Patrol (CBP). Alt-right racists and xenophobes were emboldened by the ascension of Trump. Now it appears that there are some CBP agents that have been emboldened as well. We all know that there is a psychological phenomenon of lower level government officials being granted investigatory and enforcement authority and having it go to their heads. It seems with Trump’s rhetoric, some CBP agents might as well be wearing Trump wigs and Make America Great Again baseball caps.

This needs to stop. The new chief of DHS, General Kelly, needs to make clear that enforcement of entry rules by CBP is fine–but overdoing it isn’t. In the past couple weeks, here’s just a few samples of what’s happened.

  • Muhammad Ali, Jr. (son of boxing legend Muhammad Ali) was questioned for two hours at Fort Lauderdale airport after returning from a trip to Jamaica with his mother. They asked him about the origin of his name and his religion. Perhaps the agent(s) were too young to know who his father was (he told them but that meant little to them). Obviously he’s not from one of the seven countries on Trump’s ridiculous travel ban.
  • Henry Rousso, a noted French Holocaust historian was detained for 10 hours at Houston International Airport. For a time, it seemed he would be deported. He too, is not from one of the seven countries and is, in fact, Jewish. He is associated with both Harvard and Columbia Universities. He has been coming to and from America for 30 years without incident. He was coming to America to present a lecture on “Writing in Dark Times,” at Texas A&M University. According to a CNN report,

    Rousso says an immigration officer told him he wasn’t “allowed to give a lecture and receive an honorarium” with his tourist visa. The US State Department allows foreign nationals to receive an honorarium under a tourist visa if they are a lecturer or a speaker and under certain guidelines, all of which Rousso met.

  • A Nigerian software engineer, Celestine Omin, was detained at JFK airport by CBP agents who reportedly asked questions intended to prove to their satisfaction that he really was a software engineer. Omin works for a startup tech firm, Andela, which recruits talent from Africa to assist American firms. He had a short-term visa allowing him to enter the US. See the story on Fortune/Tech.
  • Mem Fox, a celebrated children’s book author from Australia, was detained and questioned for two hours by CBP agents at LAX while enroute to address a conference in Milwaukee. She had been to the US 116 times but says she doesn’t plan on coming back. See the story here. She doesn’t look much like a terrorist in her picture, does she?
  • Juan Garcia Mosqueda, an Argentinian and owner of a New York art gallery, missed it’s opening after being detained at JFK for 14 hours and then sent back to Buenos Aires. The CNN story reports his claim that he was denied access to legal counsel, his bathroom visits were closely monitored and more. He is not a US citizen but has been a resident alien for ten years.
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Golfer-in-Chief or So-Called President?

After saying he would be working so hard (compared to Obama), our fake president is spending his third week in a row golfing in Florida. Nero fiddling as Rome burns comes to mind. It’s important that he goes–he needs that post-campaign rally to lift his spirits from the doldrums of defeat he’s been experiencing. So here’s the Eagle Peak version of fake news, or as Trump’s crowd would say, “alternative facts.” As always, most of what’s here is not CLAIMED AS TRUE, but you might find there’s a high level of probability that there are some truths here.

 

Forget George Washington and the cherry tree, here’s what Donald Trump said as a boy:

“I really think we should rent to those colored people dad,” a young Donald said to his father.

“Seriously?”

“I cannot tell the truth, no I don’t.”

Fred Trump replied, “Wonderful, Donny. You have a great future in real estate–you might even be president some day!”

'I cannot tell the truth,' young Donald said. 'Wonderful, son. You may be President one day,' said Fred Trump Click To Tweet

 

Major donors have paid thousands of people to attend Florida Trump rallies. Fake news from the Trump regime is that these alleged “supporters” paid to get in. Actually, they were paid to attend and act excited about seeing their anti-hero–Trump. That’s not to say there weren’t some deplorables there who really idolize the fake president, but they’re no longer enough to fill the halls they way they once did. He can’t get sufficient ego massaging at the White House, so he needs a rally every few weeks to top off his praise deficit.

Speaking of a praise deficit, people are saying that Trump has an ego-app on his phone. Before and after tweet storms, Trump has been observed asking his phone, “Who is the smartest man in America?” The phone replies, “You are Donald.” He might ask, “Who’s making America great again?” Or “Who’s America’s most popular president?” The phone app always the same way, “You are Donald.”

Some commentators have compared Trump’s statements to the “doublespeak” of the Orwell book, 1984. They’re not quite correct. In 1984, the term applies to a word that holds two meanings at the same time–as “war is peace.” Trumpspeak, on the other hand, refers to statements that always mean only the opposite of what they ordinarily would mean. Here are a few examples:

  • “I am really smart” actually means he is dumber than dirt
  • “Make America first,” means “Make Trump first”
  • “I am the least racist person you ever met” means he is very racist
  • “I won the biggest electoral college victory in history” means that he barely exceeded the number of votes needed to win
  • “My administration is running like a fine-tuned machine” means it’s running like a lawn mower that’s been in a shed for three years and has been restarted with gummy gas in the tank
  • “Make America Great Again” really means “Make me richer again”

 

side by side pictures of Michael Flynn and Donald Trump
“Lock them up! Lock them up! Lock them up!” The new and improved political chant 

Don’t miss out, whenever you are at a political event anywhere and the name Trump or Flynn comes up, get in the swing of things and chant along with others, “Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!” Recycle and reuse are catchwords of our age. So let’s revise the Trumpkin favorite of “Lock her up,” that Flynn and Trump himself, joined in shouting about Hillary Clinton.

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So It Begins, with Michael Flynn–Trump’s Ignominious Early Departure

Does any rational person really think that former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn came up with his own talking points to Russian Ambassador Kisylak? Does anyone NOT think he discussed or got approval from Donald J. “Richard Milhous” Trump? Congress will demand that Flynn testify before their various committees. Will Flynn be a loyal soldier like G. Gordon Liddy–who refused to rat out Richard Nixon? Maybe, but maybe not. 

Trump and Nixon side by side
Donald Trump, Richard Nixon(Credit: AP/Reuters/Rick Wilking/Photo montage by Salon)

“What did the president know and when did he know it?” Déjà vu washes over American’s over 50. Odd, hearing newscasters who were not yet born or who were young children utter this phrase. A phrase that was said countless times on a daily basis 43 years ago. The Watergate investigation became America’s obsession in 1973, culminating in then President Richard Nixon’s resignation on August 9, 1974. [I watched it in the student lounge of Georgetown University Law Center as I began my law school classes. Then major news anchor John Chancellor said no one in America was celebrating this event—he couldn’t have been more mistaken. I have never since had such a high level of schadenfreude—but I expect Trump’s eventual departure to exceed it.] More than 30 White House cabinet members, Nixon staff members and associates went to jail. It all began with a break-in at the Watergate complex headquarters of the Democratic National Committee  in 1972. Those who went to jail included John Mitchell, Attorney General and chairman of Nixon’s reelection campaign. Others included senior White House officials like H.R. “Bob” Haldeman and John Erlichman.

Many have seen the similar personality flaws of Nixon and Trump, as well as contemplated the trajectory of a Trump presidency that very likely could follow Nixon’s second term. Enemies—the news media, Democrats, blacks and religious minorities; for Nixon it was Jews, for Trump it’s Muslims. Hubris is a common element. But Nixon had more paranoia with his megalomania; Trump has more narcissism with his self-aggrandizement. Nixon resigned in the face of certain impeachment and conviction. Will Trump face the same fate? Maybe. Or perhaps he’ll be out on a mental disability. It wasn’t the break-in that put so many Nixon associates in jail, it was the cover-up of it. Will it be the same with Trump? Could be the financial conflicts, Russia or any number of things. Flynn is just the first. More will likely follow, the longer Trump remains in office.

You didn’t have to be a Malcolm Nance, former Navy intelligence officer,  to see the Michael Flynn situation coming. All you had to do was observe Trump’s behavior toward Russian generally and Putin in particular. Here’s some of what I said in my fake news (mostly to insulate myself from legal liability by claiming my commentary was true).

My January 19 post included this satirical item:

“On behalf of Benedict Trump, National Security Adviser Michael “RT” Flynn, called the Russian Ambassador five times on December 29th.  He reportedly saidaccording to a leak of an NSA intercept authorized by a FISA warrant,

“Don’t worry about Obama’s sanctions and those diplomats expelled. Once Trump’s in the White House we’ll roll them back and you can bring back as many spies—I mean diplomats—as you want.”

“Thank you, Comrade Flynn,” the ambassador replied.”

Of course no FISA warrant was needed; it was a routine matter for US counterintelligence to monitor calls to and from people like Russian Ambassador Kisylak. How carelessly stupid did a career US intelligence official like Michael Flynn have to be to in fact tell the ambassador that Trump might remove or lessen sanctions? VERY stupid. For that reason alone he should have resigned. No one that stupid should be in the position of National Security Adviser to the President.

My December 31 post included this satirical item:

“More breaking news on the Russian Front (Putin and Trump, that is).  An anonymous source linked this NSA intercept of a recent call between Trump and Putin.

 “Hey, Vlad baby, thanks for that smart move with the sanctions. That will make it easier for me to remove them after I’m in the White House–soon to be the Trump House, hahaha.”

“Donny, don’t worry about the sanctions Obama imposed. We can handle them for a while. Wait a few months before you remove them all–and the other ones about Crimea and the Ukraine. If you act too quickly, you’ll have trouble with Congress.”

“Are you sure you can stand them, Vlad?”

“Absolutely, Donny boy. Just remember, we’re always here for you. If you do get in trouble–like being impeached for conflicts of interest with all your business dealings, you can move to Russia. We treat our oligarchs very, very well here. You can make as much money as you want without annoying laws and regulations hemming you in. You could finally become a billionaire for real!”

“How about a reality TV show on RT?

“Sure, no problem. But you’ll want more than that won’t you? Resorts, casinos, golf courses and more–right? Just get rid of those sanctions in a few months.”

“Right. OK, but if I’m going to dump those sanctions, I’ll need approval for several projects up front. Donald Jr., will be in touch about them.”

“Sure, we can do that. But be careful about calls like this. We can’t help you if you go too far and get charged with treason!”

“Hey, I’ll be President. No conflicts. I can do whatever I want. Say, you really didn’t do that hacking did you?”

“No, of course not! You trust Infofarce, the National Enquirer, WhiteBark and Sean Insanity don’t you?”

“Oh sure. That’s why I don’t bother with those stupid PDBs. I’m smarter than those intelligence agencies!”

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2017 John Maberry
Acknowledgements: See photo attribution

Our So-Called President

So DJT tweets that Judge James Robart (US District Court for the Western District of Washington) is a “so-called” judge because he ruled against Trump’s refugee ban. Let’s just refer to Trump as America’s “so-called President.” So SAD! After all, he lost the popular vote by nearly three million. He had the smallest inaugural since John Quincy Adams (oh, that’s an alternative fact–it wasn’t really that small, close though). Of course he also had a lot of help from his BFF Vlad and FBI Director Comey.

Let's be clear, Donald Trump is America's so-called President. The judge isn't so-called. Click To Tweet

Speaking of that executive order, here’s a picture of the crew at the White House working on getting the order out and into operation.

Image of Keystone Cops
Keystone Cops 1912 by Harry Vallejo

 

MORE FAKE NEWS below. Any resemblance to alternative facts is entirely intended. To truth, not so much.

The so-called President of the US has, with the assistance of so-called Libertarian (but really more of a Log Cabin Republican) Peter Thiel, deployed an executive order app to be used in conjunction with his twitter feed. Henceforth, Trump will be able issue EOs on a daily basis with tweets to accompany them. Here’s a sample of some upcoming orders:

  • At the request of the NRA, a rule that anyone above the age of 12–who has completed an NRA gun safety course, will be able to purchase the following weapons for self-defense,  as well as for hunting armored animals and mutant species of game following the alien invasion from space
    • 50-caliber sniper rifles
    • AR-15 fully automatic rifles
    • Certain RPG and antitank weapons
    • Flame throwers
  • EPA regulations prohibiting the discharge of any industrial waste products into rivers, streams or navigable waterways will immediately be suspended. This includes the following chemicals
    • Sulfuric acid
    • Hydrochloric acid
    • Petroleum and petroleum-based compounds
    • Anhydrous ammonia
    • Heavy metals and related compounds
    • Medical waste and sewage
  •  Several anti-business elements of Dodd-Frank prohibitions will be eliminated, enabling banks, Wall Street firms and others covered by the law to make money the old-fashioned way–by screwing ordinary Americans

 

In another recent tweet, our so-called president has urged a boycott of Nordstrom and any other retailers that stop selling Ivanka Trump’s clothing or jewelry lines. [Nordstrom said it wasn’t in response to boycott threats by anti-Trump elements but poor sales of Ivanka’s stuff–oh well, guess disapproval is contagious]

 

Speaking of Ivanka, people are saying that she will join husband Jared at any future meetings where military actions are discussed and approved by her father. They will also be attending all state dinners, if there are any. Plans for such events have been on hold as prospective invitees have declined White House invitations after the refugee ban and the so-called president’s brusque and insulting calls to foreign leaders. Reportedly, Philippine President Duterte is the only foreign dignitary that has remained on an accepted guest list. If they ever do hold a state dinner, background music will include Sly Stone’s, “It’s a Family Affair.”

 

In another tweet, so-called President Trump has warned of “death and destruction,” if fake courts don’t permit him to ban foreign nationals from all professional as well as amateur sports teams that play in the US. Canadian NHL teams are up in arms, with some players overheard saying  Trump should “go puck himself.”

 

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2017 John Maberry

Alternative or Alternate Facts vs Truth

UPDATED: Some Customs and Border Patrol agents may be going to jail or facing fines for refusing to obey Judge Brinkema’s order placing a stay on Trump’s executive order. That’s called contempt of court and Federal Judges don’t like it one bit. But hey what the hell does Trump care about laws, the US Constitution or the like. He’s the President–laws don’t apply to him. Here’s a link to just ONE of the stories about this abuse by CBP and the Trump administration.

Still doing satirical “Fake News” here. Is there a distinction between that and the alternative facts that the Trump empire puts out? Maybe, but I doubt it matters much. MOST of what follows is untrue, AKA fake or alternative. If I claim it to be true, you’ll know because I put a big T in front of it. We must hope and pray for the safety and survival of our democratic society and our economic welfare. Don’t give up! Fight back by calling, messaging or visiting your elected officials.

ALT FACTs below. None are deemed true unless indicated. BUT who knows, many could become true!

After his one-hour call with Vladimir “Puta” Putin on January 27, El Presidenté Trump issued the following executive order today:

All Federal publications must now come with a Russian language version. Additionally, all road signs in the Interstate Highway System will be replaced (on their ordinary maintenance schedule) with signs in both English and Russian. On an expedited schedule, international airports within the US must replace all signage and communication displays (including arrival, departure and other information) with ones in both English and Russian.

As a related matter, Trump has directed his Education Secretary nominee, Betsy “Devo” DeVos to develop a Russian language immersion curriculum for distribution to elementary schools across the country as soon as she takes office.

In the meantime, Trump son Barron will be taking a rapid learning course in Russian. Melania and the many adult Trump children will begin Russian language studies as soon as possible. It’s rumored that these steps are a precautionary measure should Trump need to quickly relocate to a dacha in Russia. BFF Vlad has promised the family sanctuary if ever needed.

 

We have learned that G. Gordon Liddy will introduce a showing of Leni Riefenstahl’s movie, “Triumph of the Will,” at the White House. As you may recall, Liddy played the movie at the White House for the “Plumbers” during the Nixon administration. This comes at the request of Steve “Butthead” Bannon. People are saying that Butthead may ask Liddy to come out of retirement to join him as a deputy adviser. On a somewhat related matter, two Butthead cronies from DarkFart (AKA Not-So-Brightbart) will be joining him at the White House. Here’s a little sample of Hitler’s propaganda video. Judge for yourself it looks or sounds familiar.

(A True sentence is included in this paragraph, in red color and enclosed within brackets.) At the same time, Beavis (AKA Donald Trump) issued another executive order providing that Butthead will be a [“principal” attending all National Security Council meetings while the Director of National Intelligence and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff  would be invited to attend where issues pertaining to their responsibilities and expertise are to be discussed.

So it seems obvious that Beavis prefers national security to be a matter of politics directed by the White Nationalist/self-described Leninist Butthead–rather than non-partisan experts. 

 

People in Las Vegas are saying that oddsmakers have begun taking bets on how many months of his four-year term Trump will actually serve. Almost no one believes that he might resign in the face of impeachment or any other scandal, as did Richard Nixon in 1974. That would confirm him as a loser, something that he couldn’t accept. Rather, the bets people want to make are based on the prospect of these three reasons he might be removed from office:

Impeachment due to violation of the emoluments clause of the US Constitution (receiving financial benefits from foreign governments)

Impeachment for treason or other criminal offenses associated with his involvement with Russia.

Removal under Article 4 of the 25th amendment for inability to discharge the duties of his office. Why? For a mental disability—like dementia, Alzheimer’s or some other mental disorder. This can be accomplished by the Vice President and a majority of cabinet officials submitting such a declaration to the President pro tem of the Senate and the Speaker of the House.

The last of the three might be politically unlikely, but if he really pisses off the GOP leaders of Congress, it could happen. They undoubtedly would be happy with Mike Pence taking over. How off is Trump? Well all you have to do is listen to a few of his statements or read his tweets. Like the obsession about the inaugural crowd size. As Chico Marx said in Duck Soup, “Who you gonna believe—me or your own eyes?” Or the voter fraud–3-5 million people voting for Hillary

This just in: Trump is now saying he has proof from UFO experts that pod people cast votes for Clinton AND that those votes accounted for her popular vote win. 

Or consider his problem of contradicting his own past statements, repeatedly. Is he lying or does he really not remember what he said? Does he even know the difference between fact and fiction? Is he already demented or is he simply a pathological liar. Hard to say. Either way, it’s a national security issue because the rest of the world won’t know whether to believe anything Trump says.

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Whiner-in-Chief

Donald Trump scolding the audience
Embrace the Dark Side!

Darth Trump delivered another dystopian vision of America in his inaugural address. Crafted by Steve “Black Mind” Bannon, Darth says only he can save us from the “carnage.” How inspiring! Except, of course, the “rusted factories like tombstones” arise from the darkest visions of Bannon and the deluded mind of Trump.

Meanwhile Trump’s approval ratings upon becoming President of the US are six to ten points (depending on the poll) BELOW his percentage of the popular vote. Voter remorse has already set in and is growing. The Women’s March on Saturday surpassed his inaugural attendance just in Washington, DC. If you add in the protests around the US and the world, they’re likely to be quadruple his inauguration crowd. He and his cohorts don’t think so. He blames everyone, but primarily the media for underestimating his supporters. See more below.

Trump may be a winner, having been installed as President due to his modest sized (NOT landside) electoral college win, but he constantly behaves as a loser. He whines and whines, about the least slight. A slight he perceives as more substantial requires a full-blown tweetstorm. He behaves like a toddler denied a toy or treat he demanded of adults. Such adults, of course, are not among his staff or advisers. They support and encourage his whining. Not only do they back up his whining, they have taken on his most annoying beliefs and behaviors as their own.

Sean Sriracha seethes about the inaugural crowd size reported by all the media. Sriracha nearly screams the bald-face lie that, “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration. Period.” [Imagine something like 53 exclamation marks at the end of Sriracha’s statement.] He might as well have added, don’t believe your own eyes; believe what WE TELL YOU. That’s worked for Pravda for decades. Kellyanne Corncob says her buddy Sean was presenting “alternative facts.” Kind of like the alternative-right, eh? The side-by-side aerial photos of Obama’s 2009 crowd and Trump’s 2017 event couldn’t be more obvious–Sean’s been drinking  Trump koolaid.

Kellyanne Corncob displays Trump’s propensity to project his own faults and personality traits onto others. She calls former CIA Director Brennan a “partisan political hack.” No Corncob, he has a highly regarded multi-decade career working across party lines. He served in the CIA from the Reagan administration through Clinton and on through both Bushes. Look in the mirror KC and see an aging political hack. Brennan’s only fault today is telling it like it is about Trump.

Reince Doofus is complaining that the media are trying to delegitimize Trump’s presidency. Doofus says the administration is going to fight back. Well DUH! Trump did that himself by making effective use of Russian hacking, WackyLeaks and fake news propagated by the National Enquirer.

Speaking of the Enquirer, they are among a bunch of “news” organizations that will be granted White House press credentials that Sean Sriracha can call on at briefings beginning Monday. Possibly FAKE NEWS follows–but could be mostly true–you be the judge. Along with Trump’s organ paper, just some of the new correspondents will come from:

  • WorldNetDaily
  • Infowars (AKA Infofarce)
  • RT (Russian Television), Sputnik News and Pravda
  • Breitbart (also known to some as Darkfart or WhiteBark)
  • Stormfront (main neo-nazi site)
  • The Drudge Report (AKA Dimwit Report)

BREAKING NEWS

John McCain and Lindsey Graham wimp out. Despite Rex Tillerson’s ties to Russia and his manifest lack of qualifications, they will vote for him as Secretary of State. As Trump would say, if they were voting the other way: “LOSERS! SAD!”

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Inaugural Eve–What Now?

Some say we Americans should support the peaceful transition to a new President. Sure, no violence. Antipathy yes. Respect? No–for the office but not for the man. We can’t say for sure how much Russia helped get him elected. We can’t say for sure how much contact and collusion may have existed between Putin and Trump’s team. Based on Trump’s comments and behavior, it’s reasonable to think there was quite a bit. I have every reason to believe he will rank in the top five of the worst Presidents America has ever had. He’s the most manifestly unqualified. He’s dangerously ignorant with no desire to become informed, assuming he could.

It’s easy to do as I do here, mock and ridicule Trump with the same sort of fake news that helped propel him to the White House. While he relished, tweeted and retweeted all of the fake news that came out regarding Clinton, he now calls fake any derogatory information about him, his transition team or cabinet appointments. So I’ll persist in offering fake news. Why do it? It’s to keep the spirits up of the large majority of Americans and people around the world dismayed at Trump’s ascension to what he no doubt thinks of as a throne.

But isn’t there something more positive that can be done? Yes, there is. That means those who fear Trump or despise him for all that he says and does must reach out and talk with those who voted for him about matters of mutual concern. It does no good to simply cut ties with friends, neighbors and family members that voted for Trump. Rather, we have to listen to them about why they did what we consider totally irrational–voting for Trump. Some may be gullible. Some may be racist. Some may even have legitimate concerns that they felt weren’t being met by Hillary Clinton in particular or Democrats in general. It’s clearly pointless to expect Trump to unite America. That’s up to the rest of us.

Have a few laughs in the meantime, with the fake news here. Keep resisting. Keep whistleblowing. Keep peppering your Congressman or Senator with objections to cabinet picks or legislative proposals that will affect you if you’re American. March in protest, recognizing that such activity won’t directly affect Trump but besides making you feel good it will confirm polls that show Trump will enter the White House with the lowest approval rating of any President in the last 40 years.

Nothing below is presented as or claimed to be true (with minor exceptions noted)–although some of it could be.  It is FAKE News. It’s satire.

Kellyanne Corncob said Trump’s words don’t matter in an interview on CNN a few days ago.  Never mind  what’s come out of his mouth, “look at what’s in his heart. Using the most advanced technology available, select news outlets have scanned Trump’s chest from a distance. It appeared that, like the Tin Man, he had none. Upon closer examination, they determined that it was there, although shriveled up like a prune past its prime. Trump’s surrogates often complain that news media are taking him literally. So in this case, he’s not literally heartless—just compassionately challenged. See for yourself in this side-by-side comparison of a normal heart and Trump’s heart.

Drawing of human heart

 

 

 

Shriveled heart

 

 

 

 

On behalf of Benedict Trump, National Security Adviser Michael “RT” Flynn, called the Russian Ambassador five times on December 29th.  He reportedly said, according to a leak of an NSA intercept authorized by a FISA warrant,

“Don’t worry about Obama’s sanctions and those diplomats expelled. Once Trump’s in the White House we’ll roll them back and you can bring back as many spies—I mean diplomats—as you want.”

“Thank you, Comrade Flynn,” the ambassador replied.

 

Continue reading Inaugural Eve–What Now?

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Acknowledgements: Human brain By John A Beal, PhD Dep' more...

MLK National Day of Service

silhouette of Martin Luther King and day of service textIt’s the commemoration of Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday tomorrow. A day for voluntarily providing some kind of service in King’s memory. Here’s a link to the national site where you can find a place to volunteer or record what your group did.

In my small locale, there’s not many opportunities for such service. So next year, I’ll have to try harder and sooner to not let the day go by. I hope you will find something you can do.

While I should stop there I can’t. With the inauguration of someone who shares none of the values nor the accomplishments of King coming next Friday, I must continue. To be fair, Donald Trump did PLAN on visiting the Smithsonian African-American History Museum tomorrow. But he had to cancel due to “scheduling conflicts.”

So herewith, MORE FAKE NEWS! Ending with what he will be doing instead of visiting the Smithsonian.

Trump considered Attorney General nominee Jefferson Beauregard Session’s suggestion to volunteer at the Museum of the War of Northern Aggression in Alabama. He ultimately declined due to travel time issues.

Trump SERIOUSLY considered serving food in Little Odessa—Brighton Beach. Apparently he misunderstood the relationship of the Russian emigres there with Vladimir Putin and the oligarchs back home.  Vlad nixed that idea after Donald mentioned it to him.

Finally, the right place dawned on him, a cat rescue shelter in Tribeca. Trump tweeted this about his choice:

I just love pussies, especially grabbing and holding them. Oh WHAT A FEELING!

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More Really Fake News

This is satire. All “news” on THIS post is FAKE unless indicated otherwise. OK, there is a shred of truth to some–I’m sure you’ll figure out which is which won’t you? Any resemblance to public figures is intentional; for all others it’s coincidental.

It’s mostly about Trump, his associates and allies. But isn’t mocking people’s names a little juvenile, you ask? Well sure it is, but that’s for verisimilitude. Trump may be 70, chronologically, but he has an emotional maturity of a 13 to 15-year-old.  

It’s difficult to successfully satirize Trump. How would you mock the Three Stooges? Trump is not only funny, he’s dangerous. But since the media and many politicians not only take him seriously but are actively trying to normalize him after all the stuff he’s said and done, mockery is what’s left for me to do. So here’s the New Year’s Eve edition of Really Fake News. 

 

Kellyanne Corncob, every surrogate and the entire Trump team continues to reject the notion that the Russians hacked the DNC. Even if they did, she says, Obama’s sanctions against the Russians are politically motivated to “box him [Trump] in.” Trump himself asks if the US knew the Russians did it, why didn’t the Obama administration impose the sanctions long ago? Trump et al, say it’s all to delegitimize his election. [Really? Nothing to do with national security?] Obama reportedly says, behind closed doors, that he doesn’t need to delegitimize Trump’s win–Trump’s been doing a fine job of that all by himself.

 

More breaking news on the Russian Front (Putin and Trump, that is).  An anonymous source linked this NSA intercept of a recent call between Trump and Putin.

“Hey, Vlad baby, thanks for that smart move with the sanctions. That will make it easier for me to remove them after I’m in the White House–soon to be the Trump House, hahaha.”

“Donny, don’t worry about the sanctions Obama imposed. We can handle them for awhile. Wait a few months before you remove them all–and the other ones about Crimea and the Ukraine. If you act too quickly, you’ll have trouble with Congress.”

“Are you sure you can stand them, Vlad?”

“Absolutely, Donny boy. Just remember, we’re always here for you. If you do get in trouble–like being impeached for conflicts of interest with all your business dealings, you can move to Russia. We treat our oligarchs very, very well here. You can make as much money as you want without annoying laws and regulations hemming you in. You could finally become a billionaire for real!”

“How about a reality TV show on RT?

“Sure, no problem. But you’ll want more than that won’t you? Resorts, casinos, golf courses and more–right? Just get rid of those sanctions in a few months. ”

“Right. OK, but if I’m going to dump those sanctions, I’ll need approval for several projects up front. Donald Jr., will be in touch about them.”

“Sure, we can do that. But be careful about calls like this. We can’t help you if you go too far and get charged with treason!”

“Hey, I’ll be President. No conflicts. I can do whatever I want. Say, you really didn’t do that hacking did you?”

“No, of course not! You trust Infofarce, the National Enquirer, WhiteBark and Sean Insanity don’t you?”

“Oh sure. That’s why I don’t bother with those stupid PDBs. I’m smarter than those intelligence agencies!”

 

Turns out Israel’s proof that the Obama administration orchestrated the UN Security Council Resolution condemning Israeli settlements comes from Trump associates. This according to hacked emails recently released from WackyLeaks. The emails are between David Friedman (President-Elect Trump’s nominee for Ambassador to Israel), Alicia (formerly Alex) Jones and Roger Stone. The emails show that the three conspired to frame Obama, John Kerry and Samantha Powers to embarrass them and kill the “two-state solution.” Trump, Friedman and Israeli leaders are turning cartwheels at the thought of building still more settlements. Israel’s reflexive response by Netanyahoo on down, castigating Obama, came exactly as expected.

 

Breaking News from WhiteBark (formerly known as Breitbart), courtesy of Sean Spicer. The Trump Inaugural Committee has changed its mind about accepting the offer of Russian punk group Pussy Riot to perform their hit video, [NOTE: this video is NOT safe for work] “Make America Great Again,” at inaugural events.

“Well, we heard Trump was having trouble getting A-listers to perform, so we figured he must be desperate by now,” according to a spokesperson for the group.

After viewing the performance on a smartphone in the Trump Grill, a shocked committee member fell over in a dead faint into a plate of so-so food. Too bad the tweet from Trump’s BFF Vlad, “Nyet, nyet!” arrived too late to save the committee member from embarrassment.

In other inaugural News: The Committee confirmed that Ted Nugent  will replace 16-year-old Jackie Evancho in singing the national anthem.  Evancho had to cancel for unspecified reasons. Nugent’s version might best be called the Star Strangled Banner. [Caution: He’ll be strapped, so NO booing].

 

News from Communications Director/Press Secretary Sean Spicer: Tweets from Trump will continue throughout his presidency–[for however long it lasts]. News media are encouraged to follow @unrealDonaldTrump as he plans to have news conferences only annually. Whenever he has insults, boasts or policy announcements (foreign or domestic), that’s where to find them, according to “Hot Stuff” Spicer.  “Hot Stuff” and others in the Trump organization  transition team administration will continue to provide interpretation, translation or explanation of what they think Trump actually means by the tweets. No one can be sure, of course.

“All the better to be unpredictable,” Trump says in his own words. “Eff ’em if they can’t take a joke.”

 

Recent tweets from Donald Trump’s twitter account [@unrealDonaldTrump]

Sunshine today across Florida. We’re at Mar-a- Lago. Looks great for picnics, walks and more. Thanks for the fine weather Donald!

Rain today at Mar-a-Lago. Obama’s trying to ruin my New Year’s celebration. Sun will shine on me everywhere from January 21st!

Insulting media rumors are TOTALLY UNTRUE. Melania NEVER calls me Beavis. She’ll be giving a news conference soon denying media lies.

 

Anonymous post on Facebook backs up the Beavis rumor. What started as another review of the Trump Grill in Trump Tower wound up including parts of an overheard conversation between Melania and Kellyanne Corncob,

“Beavis keeps jumping ahead of Barron when they’re playing Nintendo or PlayStation—whatever that stupid game thing is. He’s supposed to wait his turn but he gets so impatient. Just like becoming President. He wants to be in charge right now.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t call your husband “Beavis,” Melania.”

“Why? He acts just like Beavis; getting all excited when he hears the names for women’s body parts! Especially when he’s with Bannon and they see someone young and pretty.”

“Oh, I don’t believe that! I never hear anything like that when I’m around.”

“Uh, well . . . Anyway, the two of them even look like Beavis and Butthead, especially Donald.”

Beavis and Butthead
By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=33921887

Donald Trump and Steve Bannon

 

 

Carl Paladino face pasted on a foal's behindCarl Paladino insists that his name is Paladino and NOT Palamino.
This despite making comments about Barack and Michelle Obama that lend credence to the notion that he is at least a horse’s ass.
Note: the paragraph that follows and the block quote below are actual news–NOT fake news.

Trump’s former New York campaign co-chair hoped that Barack would “die of mad cow disease” and “Michelle would turn back into a male and go live in a cave in Africa.” In a statement reported by the Albany Times Union, Paladino [AKA Palamino] said,

“It has nothing to do with race. That’s the typical stance of the press when they can’t otherwise defend the acts of the person being attacked.”

Meanwhile, Alicia Jones (of Infofarce.com) and Rush (AKA The Cheesy Chub) Limberger are reportedly fighting over who will get to have a midnight tryst with the Buffalo horseman. Perhaps they can find a secluded barn for the three of them.

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