Tag Archives: Putin

The Hits Just Keep Coming–The Trump Funnies

So Donald Jr. says he’s not interested in running for office in 2018. Really? Despite the unlikely win his father had in 2016, he’s clearly more delusional than dear old dad if he thinks there’s a groundswell of voters anxious to see him in the New York Governor’s office (he’s not inclined toward the NYC Mayor job. Hahahahahaha!!!! Bozo runs in the family, it seems.

Is the dog fully wagged yet? Haven’t heard much about the investigation of the Trump campaign collusion with the Russian meddling in the US election in the last several days. Seems like the symbolic Syrian attack has done the trick. Speaking of tricks, here’s the deal with that:

  • Russia got a one-hour warning of the impending strike
  • That gave not only them, but the Syrians, ample time to move valuable jets and personnel away from the strikes
  • The Trump administration can’t get straight whether it was 20 aircraft, 20% of the aircraft in the area, 20% of the entire air force or something else that was destroyed
  • Most likely, it was 20 aging aircraft that were hit
  • No chemical weapon storage was hit
  • No reports of ANY Russian or Syrian casualties have emerged
  • In simple terms, the 59 Tomahawk missile strike was not highly successful militarily–or not a BFD
  • But it did cost the taxpayers, depending on what source you read, $75 to $90 million!
  • Oh, and the really funny thing–sources say that it was daughter Ivanka’s dismay at the videos of suffering children who brought it all to Daddy Donald’s attention–causing him to call for a response. Oh sure–or, wait, maybe that did play a part.

There you have it, the high cost of deflection. Great praise from hawks. Derision from pacifists and alt-right nationalists. And plenty of discussion suggesting it signified a departure from Trump/Russian convergence. Noteworthy: while Trump surrogates and administration officials have badmouthed the Russians, not one word against Russia has come from Donald himself. Got the clue?

Oh, did you hear about the uber spammer arrested in Spain at the FBI request? The US has an extradition treaty with Spain. The guy’s wife says it’s all about his work for Putin on the Trump campaign. Spammers can make as much as they want in Russia, so long as they do the work that the FSB, Putin, et al asks them to. Guess he’ll be spilling the beans for the right deal to the new special unit of the FBI created for investigating the Trump/Russian connection. (The unit will be headed by an experience counter-intelligence agent and will have as many as 20 people working out of the FBI HQ in Washington, DC). Pay no attention to the Syrian deflection. The investigation continues and the evidence is accumulating.

Sean Sriracha says even Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons on his own people. Oh yeah, he just gassed millions of them with Zyklon gas in the concentration camps–that doesn’t count. Maybe  the Trump team can hire Clarissa to explain it all to Sean so he doesn’t sound so cluelessly stupid when he does briefings.

Trump says Bill O’Really has done nothing wrong. 82 sponsors and counting think otherwise, costing Fox over an estimated $35 million in ad revenue. But hey, what’s a little sexual harassment in the workplace–or anywhere where a celebrity can grab a woman by the p. . .y?

Speaking of which, let’s lighten this up with a tune by that name from a man who never hesitated to include plenty of sexual commentary in his songs but still is a favorite of many–including myself. Humor excuses many such sins. But have no fear, Zappa’s Sexual Harassment in the Workplace has no lyrics–it’s 100% instrumental. For all you fellow guys, hear the pain and sorrow of harassment in the melody even as you listen to the guitar virtuoso.

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Acknowledgements: Zappa instrumental from Youtube

Trump Hits More Holes

Diagram of Trump ties to Russia
From Congressman Eric Swalwell’s website

Uh, that’s golf–not the ones he bragged about on the Access Hollywood tape. On the course nine times (every weekend) in seven weeks since the inaugural, Trump is on schedule to be getting in 267 rounds over a four-year term. Obama, who Trump complained of wasting too much time golfing, managed 333—over two four-year terms.  Of course it’s unlikely Trump will make it through a full-term. He’ll be impeached or otherwise removed from office long before then.

Known as a pathological liar, it shouldn’t be surprising that his word on a handshake isn’t worth much either. He fired Preet Bharara today, while on a golf course in Virginia, after asking him to stay on as US Attorney for the Southern District of New York. It also illustrates his lack of supposed business acumen (a farcical claim at best). Ask 46 US attorneys to resign–before even nominating, let alone confirming a single replacement. What happens to cases in progress? Ah, who cares. Same goes for the US State Department where most of the senior officials were let go–taking decades of institutional knowledge with them, without any replacements to step in.

So it’s clear enough that while Trump and his White House Wackos are concerned about the “Deep State,” where they’re taking the US is into Deep Sh-t. What comes from Trump’s White House is a shallow sewer of “alt-right” slime. It’s diseased water is filled with floating feces that have names–like Bannon, Gorka, Stephen Miller. They and their boss, the Golfer-in-Chief, revel in irrational and implausible  conspiracy theories while spewing hate in all directions.What comes from Trump's White House is a shallow sewer of alt-right slime Click To Tweet

How much meddling is Russia still exerting? What decisions and actions by Trump come at the behest of Vladimir Putin? Flynn lied. Sessions lied. Pence lied–when he said he’d never heard of Flynn working as an agent for Turkey despite receiving communications about personally addressed to him as head of the transition team. Each and every surrogate or spokesperson for Trump offers preposterous lies on a daily basis to the media. How many were in communication or actually met with the Russians and/or WikiLeaks and lied about it?

  • Paul Manafort
  • Roger Stone
  • Michael Flynn
  • Carter Page
  • Jeff Sessions
  • Jared Kushner

Why did Russian Oligarch Dmitry Rybolovlev buy a Palm Beach mansion for $95 million in 2008, which Trump had purchased for $41 million? Trump made no improvements and never lived there. The mansion apparently has since been torn down. Why did Rybolovlev’s  plane land at the same airport in tiny Concord, NC, where Trump had a rally? Why did it follow to Charlotte, NC. Why was it in Las Vegas at the same time as Trump’s plane?  All of these “coincidences” were in 2017.  See the story at McClatchy.  Perhaps the money was a loan or a bribe from Putin? Perhaps the travel itineraries were for in-person information exchanges (whether with aides or the principals directly) that couldn’t be traced.

Political connections, business connections and much more between  the Trump empire and Russia. See US Congressman Eric Swalwell’s chart of the connections on this page.  Watch Rachel Maddow for regular updates on the mushrooming data showing how much has happened and consider what might still be happening–especially considering the hollowing out of the State Department, Putin’s buddy Rex Tillerson’s silence and shut-out of the media so far as Secretary of State. Most of all, consider Emperor Trump’s total avoidance of any commentary on the WikiLeaks dump of CIA tools. Perhaps he simply doesn’t care. Perhaps Roger Stone told him it was coming. Perhaps he’d like to see the US intelligence agencies fail.

Is it America First or Russia First? Will Trump be the first US president tried for treason? Will Pence pardon him like Gerald Ford did Nixon? Pence might get away with a pardon for violation of the emoluments clause or other financial misdeeds. No need for a pardon if Trump has a complete mental breakdown and must be removed from office.

Why are Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell in such a rush to get the repeal and replacement (AKA, “repeal and wreck”) of the Affordable Care Act done? Could it be they fear how soon that Congress will be consumed with removing Trump from office and potentially staving off Putin’s takeover? It seems clear to me that this is the only rational reason for haste. Once the investigations get into full swing, Congress will have little time for any other productive work.

 

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Inaugural Eve–What Now?

Some say we Americans should support the peaceful transition to a new President. Sure, no violence. Antipathy yes. Respect? No–for the office but not for the man. We can’t say for sure how much Russia helped get him elected. We can’t say for sure how much contact and collusion may have existed between Putin and Trump’s team. Based on Trump’s comments and behavior, it’s reasonable to think there was quite a bit. I have every reason to believe he will rank in the top five of the worst Presidents America has ever had. He’s the most manifestly unqualified. He’s dangerously ignorant with no desire to become informed, assuming he could.

It’s easy to do as I do here, mock and ridicule Trump with the same sort of fake news that helped propel him to the White House. While he relished, tweeted and retweeted all of the fake news that came out regarding Clinton, he now calls fake any derogatory information about him, his transition team or cabinet appointments. So I’ll persist in offering fake news. Why do it? It’s to keep the spirits up of the large majority of Americans and people around the world dismayed at Trump’s ascension to what he no doubt thinks of as a throne.

But isn’t there something more positive that can be done? Yes, there is. That means those who fear Trump or despise him for all that he says and does must reach out and talk with those who voted for him about matters of mutual concern. It does no good to simply cut ties with friends, neighbors and family members that voted for Trump. Rather, we have to listen to them about why they did what we consider totally irrational–voting for Trump. Some may be gullible. Some may be racist. Some may even have legitimate concerns that they felt weren’t being met by Hillary Clinton in particular or Democrats in general. It’s clearly pointless to expect Trump to unite America. That’s up to the rest of us.

Have a few laughs in the meantime, with the fake news here. Keep resisting. Keep whistleblowing. Keep peppering your Congressman or Senator with objections to cabinet picks or legislative proposals that will affect you if you’re American. March in protest, recognizing that such activity won’t directly affect Trump but besides making you feel good it will confirm polls that show Trump will enter the White House with the lowest approval rating of any President in the last 40 years.

Nothing below is presented as or claimed to be true (with minor exceptions noted)–although some of it could be.  It is FAKE News. It’s satire.

Kellyanne Corncob said Trump’s words don’t matter in an interview on CNN a few days ago.  Never mind  what’s come out of his mouth, “look at what’s in his heart. Using the most advanced technology available, select news outlets have scanned Trump’s chest from a distance. It appeared that, like the Tin Man, he had none. Upon closer examination, they determined that it was there, although shriveled up like a prune past its prime. Trump’s surrogates often complain that news media are taking him literally. So in this case, he’s not literally heartless—just compassionately challenged. See for yourself in this side-by-side comparison of a normal heart and Trump’s heart.

Drawing of human heart

 

 

 

Shriveled heart

 

 

 

 

On behalf of Benedict Trump, National Security Adviser Michael “RT” Flynn, called the Russian Ambassador five times on December 29th.  He reportedly said, according to a leak of an NSA intercept authorized by a FISA warrant,

“Don’t worry about Obama’s sanctions and those diplomats expelled. Once Trump’s in the White House we’ll roll them back and you can bring back as many spies—I mean diplomats—as you want.”

“Thank you, Comrade Flynn,” the ambassador replied.

 

Continue reading Inaugural Eve–What Now?

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Acknowledgements: Human brain By John A Beal, PhD Dep' more...

More Really Fake News

This is satire. All “news” on THIS post is FAKE unless indicated otherwise. OK, there is a shred of truth to some–I’m sure you’ll figure out which is which won’t you? Any resemblance to public figures is intentional; for all others it’s coincidental.

It’s mostly about Trump, his associates and allies. But isn’t mocking people’s names a little juvenile, you ask? Well sure it is, but that’s for verisimilitude. Trump may be 70, chronologically, but he has an emotional maturity of a 13 to 15-year-old.  

It’s difficult to successfully satirize Trump. How would you mock the Three Stooges? Trump is not only funny, he’s dangerous. But since the media and many politicians not only take him seriously but are actively trying to normalize him after all the stuff he’s said and done, mockery is what’s left for me to do. So here’s the New Year’s Eve edition of Really Fake News. 

 

Kellyanne Corncob, every surrogate and the entire Trump team continues to reject the notion that the Russians hacked the DNC. Even if they did, she says, Obama’s sanctions against the Russians are politically motivated to “box him [Trump] in.” Trump himself asks if the US knew the Russians did it, why didn’t the Obama administration impose the sanctions long ago? Trump et al, say it’s all to delegitimize his election. [Really? Nothing to do with national security?] Obama reportedly says, behind closed doors, that he doesn’t need to delegitimize Trump’s win–Trump’s been doing a fine job of that all by himself.

 

More breaking news on the Russian Front (Putin and Trump, that is).  An anonymous source linked this NSA intercept of a recent call between Trump and Putin.

“Hey, Vlad baby, thanks for that smart move with the sanctions. That will make it easier for me to remove them after I’m in the White House–soon to be the Trump House, hahaha.”

“Donny, don’t worry about the sanctions Obama imposed. We can handle them for awhile. Wait a few months before you remove them all–and the other ones about Crimea and the Ukraine. If you act too quickly, you’ll have trouble with Congress.”

“Are you sure you can stand them, Vlad?”

“Absolutely, Donny boy. Just remember, we’re always here for you. If you do get in trouble–like being impeached for conflicts of interest with all your business dealings, you can move to Russia. We treat our oligarchs very, very well here. You can make as much money as you want without annoying laws and regulations hemming you in. You could finally become a billionaire for real!”

“How about a reality TV show on RT?

“Sure, no problem. But you’ll want more than that won’t you? Resorts, casinos, golf courses and more–right? Just get rid of those sanctions in a few months. ”

“Right. OK, but if I’m going to dump those sanctions, I’ll need approval for several projects up front. Donald Jr., will be in touch about them.”

“Sure, we can do that. But be careful about calls like this. We can’t help you if you go too far and get charged with treason!”

“Hey, I’ll be President. No conflicts. I can do whatever I want. Say, you really didn’t do that hacking did you?”

“No, of course not! You trust Infofarce, the National Enquirer, WhiteBark and Sean Insanity don’t you?”

“Oh sure. That’s why I don’t bother with those stupid PDBs. I’m smarter than those intelligence agencies!”

 

Turns out Israel’s proof that the Obama administration orchestrated the UN Security Council Resolution condemning Israeli settlements comes from Trump associates. This according to hacked emails recently released from WackyLeaks. The emails are between David Friedman (President-Elect Trump’s nominee for Ambassador to Israel), Alicia (formerly Alex) Jones and Roger Stone. The emails show that the three conspired to frame Obama, John Kerry and Samantha Powers to embarrass them and kill the “two-state solution.” Trump, Friedman and Israeli leaders are turning cartwheels at the thought of building still more settlements. Israel’s reflexive response by Netanyahoo on down, castigating Obama, came exactly as expected.

 

Breaking News from WhiteBark (formerly known as Breitbart), courtesy of Sean Spicer. The Trump Inaugural Committee has changed its mind about accepting the offer of Russian punk group Pussy Riot to perform their hit video, [NOTE: this video is NOT safe for work] “Make America Great Again,” at inaugural events.

“Well, we heard Trump was having trouble getting A-listers to perform, so we figured he must be desperate by now,” according to a spokesperson for the group.

After viewing the performance on a smartphone in the Trump Grill, a shocked committee member fell over in a dead faint into a plate of so-so food. Too bad the tweet from Trump’s BFF Vlad, “Nyet, nyet!” arrived too late to save the committee member from embarrassment.

In other inaugural News: The Committee confirmed that Ted Nugent  will replace 16-year-old Jackie Evancho in singing the national anthem.  Evancho had to cancel for unspecified reasons. Nugent’s version might best be called the Star Strangled Banner. [Caution: He’ll be strapped, so NO booing].

 

News from Communications Director/Press Secretary Sean Spicer: Tweets from Trump will continue throughout his presidency–[for however long it lasts]. News media are encouraged to follow @unrealDonaldTrump as he plans to have news conferences only annually. Whenever he has insults, boasts or policy announcements (foreign or domestic), that’s where to find them, according to “Hot Stuff” Spicer.  “Hot Stuff” and others in the Trump organization  transition team administration will continue to provide interpretation, translation or explanation of what they think Trump actually means by the tweets. No one can be sure, of course.

“All the better to be unpredictable,” Trump says in his own words. “Eff ’em if they can’t take a joke.”

 

Recent tweets from Donald Trump’s twitter account [@unrealDonaldTrump]

Sunshine today across Florida. We’re at Mar-a- Lago. Looks great for picnics, walks and more. Thanks for the fine weather Donald!

Rain today at Mar-a-Lago. Obama’s trying to ruin my New Year’s celebration. Sun will shine on me everywhere from January 21st!

Insulting media rumors are TOTALLY UNTRUE. Melania NEVER calls me Beavis. She’ll be giving a news conference soon denying media lies.

 

Anonymous post on Facebook backs up the Beavis rumor. What started as another review of the Trump Grill in Trump Tower wound up including parts of an overheard conversation between Melania and Kellyanne Corncob,

“Beavis keeps jumping ahead of Barron when they’re playing Nintendo or PlayStation—whatever that stupid game thing is. He’s supposed to wait his turn but he gets so impatient. Just like becoming President. He wants to be in charge right now.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t call your husband “Beavis,” Melania.”

“Why? He acts just like Beavis; getting all excited when he hears the names for women’s body parts! Especially when he’s with Bannon and they see someone young and pretty.”

“Oh, I don’t believe that! I never hear anything like that when I’m around.”

“Uh, well . . . Anyway, the two of them even look like Beavis and Butthead, especially Donald.”

Beavis and Butthead
By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=33921887

Donald Trump and Steve Bannon

 

 

Carl Paladino face pasted on a foal's behindCarl Paladino insists that his name is Paladino and NOT Palamino.
This despite making comments about Barack and Michelle Obama that lend credence to the notion that he is at least a horse’s ass.
Note: the paragraph that follows and the block quote below are actual news–NOT fake news.

Trump’s former New York campaign co-chair hoped that Barack would “die of mad cow disease” and “Michelle would turn back into a male and go live in a cave in Africa.” In a statement reported by the Albany Times Union, Paladino [AKA Palamino] said,

“It has nothing to do with race. That’s the typical stance of the press when they can’t otherwise defend the acts of the person being attacked.”

Meanwhile, Alicia Jones (of Infofarce.com) and Rush (AKA The Cheesy Chub) Limberger are reportedly fighting over who will get to have a midnight tryst with the Buffalo horseman. Perhaps they can find a secluded barn for the three of them.

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Andrey Karlov Pays Putin’s Punishment for Aleppo

Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrey KarlovAn off-duty Turkish policeman shot and killed Russian Ambassador Andrey Karlov in Ankara today. The shooter shouted, among other things, “Remember Aleppo. Remember Syria.” The Russian Foreign Ministry called it an act of terror. Of course it was that. Presumably, the Russian Ambassador to Turkey is an innocent civilian.

Notably, killing thousands of innocent civilians in Aleppo with barrel bombs, chlorine gas and white phosphorus incendiary munitions is not terrorism. It’s a war crime. A war crime committed with the help of Russian President Vladimir Putin freely given to Syrian President Bashar Al Assad’s. Russia supplies the jets and undoubtedly much of the munitions used against Aleppo. Russian jets flown by Russian pilots also strike Syrian targets. Putin says they’re targeting ISIS combatants. Only Donald Trump believes that. It takes a liar to believe a liar, one must assume. Oh, sorry, this is about Putin and Russia today, not Trump.

It’s a pity that the Ambassador should pay for Putin and Assad’s criminal behavior, but karma is what it is. He did choose to work for Putin. One day Putin’s karma will come due for Putin himself.

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Aleppo–a Time to Act

Damaged buildings in Syria, from CNN website
Damaged buildings in Syria, from CNN website

ISIS/ISIL, Bashar al Assad, Russia, rebels of every stripe, the U.S. and the UN. Just some of the players in Syria. The problem has been finding rebels to support that might take down Assad but that weren’t ISIS or Al Qaeda. And to avoid what happened in Iraq–getting rid of Assad without leaving the country in worse shape after all. ISIS may be on the run, but now with Russia aiding Assad more and more, atrocities in Aleppo (and no doubt elsewhere) get worse. See this article from Gayle Tzemach Lemmon on CNN.

When war crimes are happening daily, can the world afford to wait? As a Buddhist and a person who values diplomacy over war, I am loathe to suggest more U.S. military involvement. But can we expect the UN to help? Not in time. Can we just let Russia roll? One has to believe that Sergei Lavrov has been playing John Kerry for a fool on the cease-fire. I camped on the Mall in Washington, DC with Kerry when he was a leader of the Vietnam Vets Against the War. Many years after that I included my antiwar sentiments into a memoir, Waiting for Westmoreland, that also explained how I came to accept the responsibility to change myself in order to make the world a better and more peaceful place. But Buddhism doesn’t indulge the “turn the other cheek” principle of Christianity. Self-defense and defense of others is always a legitimate thing in Buddhism.

Perhaps President Obama is waiting until after November 8th, when his lame duck status is not only certain but won’t inconvenience Hillary Clinton. Were she in office right now, she would likely institute a no-fly zone over Aleppo and might be willing to challenge Russian and Syrian aircraft who violate it. We can assume Trump would do no such thing and would let Russia aid Syria until all opposition to that brutal dictator and war criminal Assad was crushed and he regained complete control of Syria.

The children and the citizens of Aleppo can’t wait. If the U.S. needs to shoot down some Russian planes (or believably threaten to do so) then so be it. We need to tell Putin we are ready to hack every computer system in Russia until it’s power grid, its infrastructure and its communication system fails or is completely crippled. Will he believe it? Can Obama bluff him? He’s been calling our bluff for some time. Now we need to call his and do it–NOW. His government hackers have been doing their best to get Trump elected. That interference has to stop. Is that a declaration of war? Probably close to it, but I prefer to call it defense of others. A believable threat has to move him. Putin will only go as far as he thinks he can get away with. He’s not sitting at a console ready to launch nukes. Do you think so? I don’t.

Congress is not in session. Calling them back will likely result in no approval. The UN Security Council won’t approve such action because Russia will veto it. So it’s more than a big political gamble. It could result in big problems for Clinton before the election. Or then again, maybe not. THEN we can sort out who needs to be supported in Syria. Obama can then exit and hand over the mess to Hillary Clinton, who is capable of handling it even if he isn’t willing or able to do it. Enough is enough.

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Ukraine–Russia; Gaza–Hamas–Israel; Where Lies Hope?

Missiles, artillery and bullets are easy; diplomacy is hard. So bloodshed continues. How did the Protestants and Catholics stop fighting in Northern Ireland (at least most of the time)? Well, it only took a few hundred years, but they eventually did. Mothers tired of sons dying played a major part. Outside mediation another part–by an American where America had no vested interest in an outcome favoring one side or the other. Continue reading Ukraine–Russia; Gaza–Hamas–Israel; Where Lies Hope?

Lindsey Graham is a Pissant

Vonnegut. Cat’s Cradle. 1963. In classic Vonnegut form, the character Crosby says,

“A pissant is somebody who thinks he’s so damn smart, he never can keep his mouth shut. No matter what anybody says, he’s got to argue with it. . . . No matter what you say, he knows better.”

A pissant, in the common parlance, is a small man–not so much in stature but in significance, import, perhaps in intellectual weight. In the midst of an international crisis, threatening the security and sovereignty of the nation of Ukraine, on Sunday’s State of the Union show, Lindsey Graham said that

President Obama “should stop going on television and trying to threaten thugs and dictators.” [like Putin] Whenever he does, “everybody’s eyes roll, including mine. We have a weak and indecisive president that invites aggression.”

So, instead of considering the well-being, the safety of the citizens of the Ukraine, Graham plays the pissant, mocking Obama. Contrast that with the sensible, supportive and bipartisan approach from (of all people) House Majority Leader Eric Cantor who released a statement yesterday saying:

“Russia’s invasion of Ukraine violates international law and its long-standing agreements. Russian aggression must cease, . . .

I have spoken to Administration officials to express our interest in working together to ensure that President Obama has the appropriate tools to impose real consequences on Russia for this aggression.”

So, take your pick, pissant or bipartisan patriot. There’s a reason no one expects Lindsey Graham ever to be Commander in Chief. This is the latest example. Facing four Tea Party primary opponents, he has his own small-minded interests at stake rather than international affairs. There are few who could underestimate the political astuteness of the Tea Party, but Graham may be one of them.