Tag Archives: Fake News

Fake News–REALLY Fake News

This is satire. All “news” is as fake as what Infowars posts. Any resemblance to public figures is intentional; for any others it’s coincidental.

large man in bed using computer

Breaking News: Based on reports from Infowars, Donald J. Trump has identified the 400-pound guy who actually  hacked the DNC. 

Trump tweeted,

“It’s Abdul Muhammad Garcia [fake name to protect his identity], an illegal Mexican immigrant who also happens to be Muslim.”

“See, I told you those Mexicans are criminals. This one’s an Islamic terrorist too. Those CIA goofs kept saying it was the Russians–HAH. We’ll waterboard him first and then deport him!”

John Bolton has confirmed that this was a “false flag” operation originally concocted by neighbors of Trump’s Turnberry golf resort. They were angry at him for destroying their view. They hoped to blame Trump’s Russian cronies and cause him to lose the election due to his treasonous activities. As Kellyanne Conway said recently, the idea of Russians hacking the DNC and causing Hillary Clinton to lose the election is “laughable and ridiculous.” Mike Pompeo, Trump’s CIA nominee is reportedly not laughing, but that’s not been confirmed.

Speaking of Infowars, Alex Jones has denied reports he is soon going to become Alexa Jones.

“I’m making a fresh start. My name will be Alicia, not Alexa!” says Jones.

WhiteBark, Steve Bannon’s site formerly known as Breitbart to some or “Darkf**t to opponents, is saying that Trump is definitely planning a Two-China policy.

One from column A and one from column B for the diplomatic lunch special. Hah, got you with the joke, eh. No, actually he will be hard on the People’s Republic of China. Although they supposedly should be helpful dealing with North Korea, they have not been doing a great job in recent years. So he’s going to enlist his Labor Secretary Andy Puzder to send those bikini-clad models from his Carl’s, Jr. ads with a weekly supply of multidecker burgers with supersize fries to Kim Jong Un. Kim has been trying valiantly to gain the rotundity of his grandfather. With Trump and Puzder’s help he may soon get there. Then, no more worries about nukes–just don’t stand behind the North Korean leader after a meal.

Meanwhile, sources within the Trump transition team are saying that he has a major climate initiative planned his first year in office. He will task Homeland Security chief, Retired Marine General Kelly and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross to work together on a NOAA project to stop El Nino and La Nina from affecting U.S. weather. Trump reportedly told them,

“With names like that, they must be Mexicans. No more illegal weather immigration into America. Let’s Make America’s Weather Great Again!”

No word yet on how tall a wall will be needed to keep these illegals out. Kelly and Ross will have to figure that out.

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Fakey News (NOT Fake) Coming Soon

Fakey News, coming next week and monthly or so thereafter. You know all about the “Fake News,” this is making fun of that. Meaning, satirizing the sites that Donald, Mike Flynn and others in the Trump Tweetery lives by. For example, like this:

Trump and Betsy DeVos as Devos“We are Devos!” Rumor has it that Donald Trump and Betsy DeVos are channeling that 80s group, Devo. Donald and Betsy are definitely devolving, as you can see.

Or

According to the Dreck Report, people are saying that Infowars Alex Jones has been consulting Caitlyn Jenner on how to go about becoming Alexa Jones. She’ll be just as conspiratorial after the change.

Or

Breitbart is planning to relaunch the site as WhiteBark, referencing the European Birch in keeping with the Anglo origins of the White Race. People are saying they are looking into creating a variation of the internet, to be known as the World White Web. Thereafter, there will be no Alt-Right. Rather, it will be the Alt-White.

Or, finally,

Donald Trump, incensed by an unfavorable comment by some executive at Walt Disney World, has tweeted that Mickey Mouse ran away from home in his youth after discovering that his father was a rat.

It’s so difficult to satirize Trump–not impossible, it just takes work. But I tire of complaining and pointing out all the dangerous shortcomings and foibles. So NOW, it’s mocking time. For him and his coterie of conspiracy crazies. Stay tuned.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016 John Maberry