Our So-Called President

So DJT tweets that Judge James Robart (US District Court for the Western District of Washington) is a “so-called” judge because he ruled against Trump’s refugee ban. Let’s just refer to Trump as America’s “so-called President.” So SAD! After all, he lost the popular vote by nearly three million. He had the smallest inaugural since John Quincy Adams (oh, that’s an alternative fact–it wasn’t really that small, close though). Of course he also had a lot of help from his BFF Vlad and FBI Director Comey.

Let's be clear, Donald Trump is America's so-called President. The judge isn't so-called. Click To Tweet

Speaking of that executive order, here’s a picture of the crew at the White House working on getting the order out and into operation.

Image of Keystone Cops
Keystone Cops 1912 by Harry Vallejo

 

MORE FAKE NEWS below. Any resemblance to alternative facts is entirely intended. To truth, not so much.

The so-called President of the US has, with the assistance of so-called Libertarian (but really more of a Log Cabin Republican) Peter Thiel, deployed an executive order app to be used in conjunction with his twitter feed. Henceforth, Trump will be able issue EOs on a daily basis with tweets to accompany them. Here’s a sample of some upcoming orders:

  • At the request of the NRA, a rule that anyone above the age of 12–who has completed an NRA gun safety course, will be able to purchase the following weapons for self-defense,  as well as for hunting armored animals and mutant species of game following the alien invasion from space
    • 50-caliber sniper rifles
    • AR-15 fully automatic rifles
    • Certain RPG and antitank weapons
    • Flame throwers
  • EPA regulations prohibiting the discharge of any industrial waste products into rivers, streams or navigable waterways will immediately be suspended. This includes the following chemicals
    • Sulfuric acid
    • Hydrochloric acid
    • Petroleum and petroleum-based compounds
    • Anhydrous ammonia
    • Heavy metals and related compounds
    • Medical waste and sewage
  •  Several anti-business elements of Dodd-Frank prohibitions will be eliminated, enabling banks, Wall Street firms and others covered by the law to make money the old-fashioned way–by screwing ordinary Americans

 

In another recent tweet, our so-called president has urged a boycott of Nordstrom and any other retailers that stop selling Ivanka Trump’s clothing or jewelry lines. [Nordstrom said it wasn’t in response to boycott threats by anti-Trump elements but poor sales of Ivanka’s stuff–oh well, guess disapproval is contagious]

 

Speaking of Ivanka, people are saying that she will join husband Jared at any future meetings where military actions are discussed and approved by her father. They will also be attending all state dinners, if there are any. Plans for such events have been on hold as prospective invitees have declined White House invitations after the refugee ban and the so-called president’s brusque and insulting calls to foreign leaders. Reportedly, Philippine President Duterte is the only foreign dignitary that has remained on an accepted guest list. If they ever do hold a state dinner, background music will include Sly Stone’s, “It’s a Family Affair.”

 

In another tweet, so-called President Trump has warned of “death and destruction,” if fake courts don’t permit him to ban foreign nationals from all professional as well as amateur sports teams that play in the US. Canadian NHL teams are up in arms, with some players overheard saying  Trump should “go puck himself.”

 

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3 thoughts on “Our So-Called President”

    1. You’re still here! I’m not going anywhere, but one of these days (soon perhaps) I may take a break from lampooning America’s so-called president to post writing-related topics. Check in now and then to see if I do succeed at resisting the mockery candy. 🙂

      1. 🙂 🙂 Just signing off. Have to sleep fast. Getting up at 2am to leave at 4. Icestorm coming in at 5am, grr, hope I can take off, plus huge lines at US customs at Toronto airport people trying to get our in case ban is lifted 🙁 Just like to click my heels and be there. 🙂

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